The Midnight Meat Train

The Midnight Meat Train

Rated R

Running Time: 1 hr 40 mins

Cast:

Bradley Cooper
Leslie Bibb
Brooke Shields
Vinnie Jones

Critical consensus:

Not Enough Info

Matt's Take:

D-

Mikey @ The Movies Official Rating:

0 out of *****

The premise:

A New York photographer hunts down a serial killer. Based on Clive Barker's short story "Midnight Meat Train"

MY REVIEW

I have the fortunate luck to live in one of the very few cities that is actually showing this film in one of it's "$1" theaters. The movie is getting an extreme limited release, only being showcased in a tad over 100 theaters across our great country. The movie at one point was scrapped from even being released in theaters, then we were told it would get at least 1000, now it's been reduced to dollar cinema theaters...and for good reason.

Midnight Meat Train is already a catchy, unique little title don't you think? That title could suggest a number of things, but sadly it's almost quite litteral. Minus the fact that this sadistic train of torture actually departs after 2 A.M. every day not midnight; but that's its most minor plot flaw. Now listen, I didn't go into this expecting some crazy awesome plot, this is a gory horror movie afterall. I was expecting at least a fun, cheesy horror movie plot that is readily open for some good laughs (not in a good way) with some friends. Yet this movie and its plot were so bland and retarded it didn't even warrant a chuckle from me.

The plot seems simple enough at first: an insane and very large man stalks victims on a subway train and slaughters them in some grotesque ways. His main weapon of choice is a metal mallet. He bashes people upside the head, breaking their necks instantsly, or making their eyes pop out of their skulls in slow motion. The list can go on, believe me. I won't go into any more detail about the story, only that the final 10 minutes or so, in an apparent attempt at a twist goes way off course into the realm of ridiculousness. It was so, SO terrible. Yuck!

The performances are also cheesy, but not entirely awful. Bradley Cooper (TV's Alias) is somewhat standable at first, but then his character goes all obsessive and crazy by the end. His character just didn't seem to have sound reason built into his brain. He follows this crazy killer with his camera, just 6 or 7 feet behind...isn't that a little too risky? Even for a horror movie? He lost me in his performance after he becomes obsessed with snapping pictures of this guy, but it wasn't Bradleys fault. His character was written this way: a freaking retard! Sorry to offend any "slow" people out there, but this character was an idiot. Leslie Bibb (Iron Man, Trick R' Treat), who kept reminding me a lot of Maggie Grace from the first 2 seasons of Lost, also was standable the first half of the movie. Then in the second half, her character goes so far OUT of character, she just loses me. It was kind of frustrating watching these characters fall victim to the cliched horror movie persona. Whatever.

Their were some neat camera shots, especially the blury kind of hazy shots scattered about in the first half. Then it got to be too much with the weird weaving in and out of trains at a fast pace; there were even some Matrix-y type shots that got annoying. There were a few shots that looked very artsy and kind of impressive but didn't do much for me, cause the setting was just so awful. They would have worked better in a more suitable thriller. I was expecting this movie to suck, so I can at least say this movie was NOT dissapointing!

CURRENT MIKEY @ THE MOVIES AWARDS NOMINATIONS:

• Worst Dramatic Film of the Year

To view this films theatrical trailer, click this link: Midnight Meat Train

*This is the 75th new film I've seen and reviewed this year.

*This is a limited release film.

SHORT REVIEW: Sleepwalking

Sleepwalking

Rated R

Running time: 1 hr 40 mins

Cast:

Nick Stahl
AnnaSophia Robb
Charlize Theron
Dennis Hopper

Critical conensus:

** out of *****

Matt's Take:

Has Not Viewed

Mikey @ The Movies Official Rating:

**1/2 out of *****

The premise:

The drama follows an 11-year-old girl's struggle to come to terms with her mother's abandonment.

MY REVIEW

Sleepwalking is an appropriately named film. The pacing is so slow, it's as if the movie is moving but asleep at the same time. That doesn't mean this is an awful movie, because it really isn't. However, this is a very typical, unoriginal take on the dysfunctional family drama. There are no groundbreaking moments or scenes that just make you think and want to tear up. The story isn't bad, it's pretty decent actually, just nothing you haven't seen before.

What saves this movie the most is the performances. Nick Stahl (Terminator 3, How to Rob a Bank)is excellent here. He really captures the emotions of his character well, even though he is slightly poorly written. Oscar winner Charlize Theron (Monster, Hancock) only appears in the opening act and final act and is absent a good portion of the film. When she is on screen however, she demonstrates why she is an Oscar winner. She can deliver a pretty powerful punch in the acting catergory, and she does not dissapoint here. The real star of the movie here is young actress AnnaSophia Robb (The Reaping, Bridge to Terabithia). This is really her film. She is no Abigail Breslin but she carries herself very well in this movie. Perhaps she displays the most sincere emotions over her more respected adult cast.

The look of the movie is very rustic, if that's the right choice of word. You really feel the mood of the film through the way it looks. It was handled well by first time director Bill Maher whose done special effects work on movies like X-Men. Really though, this films major downfall is its lack of genuine emotional punch, because like I've said, we have seen this type of film every year. Sometimes these movies bring their A game such as the film Snow Angels. Sleepwalking could take a few pointers from that film.

CURRENT MIKEY @ THE MOVIES AWARDS NOMINATIONS:

• Best Performance by a Young Actor or Actress (AnnaSophia Robb)

To view this films theatrical trailer, click this link: Sleepwalking

*This is the 74th new film I've seen and reviewed this year.

*This film is now on DVD.

SHORT REVIEW: Penelope

Penelope

Rated PG

Running time: 1 hr 29 mins

Cast:

Christina Ricci
James McAvoy
Catherine O'Hara
Peter Dinklage

Critical consensus:

**1/2 out of *****

Matt's Take:

Has not viewed

Mikey @ The Movies Official Rating:

*** out of *****

The premise:

A modern romantic tale about a young aristocratic heiress born under a curse that can only be broken when she finds true love with "one who will love her faithfully".

MY REVIEW

Penelope is by no means an outstanding work of art for the world of film. However it's an oddball of a film full of quirk and fantasy, that I actually found myself vaguely enjoying. I say vaguely because this is not a movie I will remember much about at year's end, but for the time being, with it fresh in my mind, it wasn't that bad. This is a modern day love story/fantasy, and I'm not to keep on the whole love story genre, as most of you know. Yet Penelopes story intrigued me. The movie was short enough to not drag on, every scene got straight to the point. Yeah maybe it moved a tad to fast, but how much of a love story/fantasy can one truly take? By the end, we actually have a pretty good message delivered to us as moviegoers: shallow people are stupid.

Some of the direction of the film was a little "low class" for me, something about the way the film was shot, maybe the camera itself, I don't know, but it was kind of straight-to-dvd looking. We still get glimpses of enchanting effects and camera shots, however. The cast, overall, is pretty good. Christina Ricci (Adams Family, Sleepy Hollow) and James McAvoy (Atonement, Wanted) work really well together, and showed very good chemistry. SAG Award nominee Peter Dinklage (The Station Agent) was the best part of the movie for me, in terms of performances. He's a great little dwarf actor! Catherine O'Hara (Home Alone, Best in Show) was the worst performance. Her character and her acting was pure craziness and didn't seem rehearsed in anyway. Sad, because I normally like her. Oscar winner Reese Witherspoon (Walk the Line) has a very small role in the film, but is plastered all over the posters, mainly due to the fact that she is one of the producers of the film. Her borderline cameo role was pretty entertaining. Look kids, simply put, this is not a bad movie. Not one I'd recommend to many people, but whatever, it enterained me.

CURRENT MIKEY @ THE MOVIES AWARD NOMINATIONS:

• 
  
  None

To view this films theatrical trailer, click this link: Penelope

*This is the 73rd new film I've seen and reviewed this year.

*This film is now on DVD.

SHORT REVIEW: Step Brothers

Step Brothers

Rated R

Running time: 1 hr 35 mins

Cast:

Will Ferrell
John C. Reilly
Richard Jenkins
Mary Steenburgen
Adam Scott

Critical conensus:

**1/2 out of *****

Matt's Take:

D+

Mikey @ The Movies Official Rating:

* out of *****

The premise:

Two spoiled guys become competitive stepbrothers after their single parents get hitched.

MY REVIEW

You know I really don't feel the need to write some extensive review on this film, so I won't. Step Brothers, in my opinions is one of the years worst and most dissapointing comedies. This is a film that unfortunately falls victim to too much bad advertising. That generally happens to comedies. They show us an abundant amount of funny parts of the movie in both the regular trailer and red-band trailer, that make us really want to see the movie. When you watch it, as did I, I noticed all the funny parts in the film were in the trailer. I was already exposed to those jokes, numerous times. I mean there were a few new funny moments strewn about here and there that I chuckled at, but really I didn't actually laugh.

I hate to say this but...I truly hated this movie. It was way more raunchy and crude than I was expecting. These crude jokes, and they get really bad, are so poorly written and just tossed into the story and they make NO sense with the characters or with the screenplay. The comedy seemed so forced to me. Was it just an excuse to re-team Golden Globe Nominee Will Ferrell (Stranger Than Fiction) and Oscar Nominee John C. Reilly (Chicago)? Maybe. You figure they could have come up with better material for these two big stars, but sometimes you can't hold your breath. They both are very good in their delivery and timing, and both are good, proven actors; but this script did not work for them. The most annoying part of this movie was Adam Scott (The Return) and Kathryn Hahn (TV's Crossing Jordan). Scott plays one of the most cliched and obnoxious characters in recent comedy film history. By the end when he starts talking, I start sighing from frustration. He was terrible. Even worse was Hahn. Her character...I don't even know where to begin. She was so disgusting and pointless and that's really all I want to say about her.

I recommend this movie to people who love this acting tandem and who love to laugh at raunch. It's just not my cup of tea, especially when it is done as weak as this movie. Have I lost my funny bone? I may never know.

CURRENT MIKEY @ THE MOVIES AWARDS NOMINATIONS:

• TBD

To view this films red-band trailer, click this link: Step Brothers

*This is the 72nd new film I've seen and reviewed this year.

The X-Files: I Want to Believe

The X-Files: I Want to Believe

Rated PG-13

Running time: 1 hr 44 mins

Cast:

David Duchovny
Gillian Anderson

Critical consensus:

**1/2 out of *****

Matt's Take:

Coming Soon

Mikey @ The Movies Official Rating:

**** out of *****

The premise:

Based on the award winning dramatic TV show of the same name, and a sequel to a 1998 film. Mulder and Scully are asked to come out of hiding to assist in a case that needs their otherworldy expertise.

MY REVIEW

The Story and Screenplay: I'd like to point out to those who don't know: I am a die hard fan of the The X-Files TV show. I've seen every episode. However I am not an "X-Philer" as they say, meaning I'm not some comic-con nerd who lives and breathes the show. As a matter of fact it's misguided thought that The X-Files has some huge nerdy cult following like Star Trek. Whatever though, think what you want. On to the film.

Creator Chris Carter and regular X-File writer Frank Spotnitz have delivered a story that I thought completely stayed true to the heart of the show. No it has nothing to do with aliens. If they made a story about aliens, then you would lose the entire non-X-Files fan audience. The first film in 1998 focused on the alien conspiracy that made the show what it was, and did so in a way that even a person who never saw the show, could enjoy. The first film is excellent. It was hip, it was sleek, and it was appealing to everyone. They also couldn't do an alien story here because that mythology storyline concluded in the show. Not to mention its been 6 years since the show ended, an alien story would have been cheesy. So we get a stand-alone film.

Mulder and Scully are enlisted to help in a case involving a missing FBI agent. They are asked for help, because the FBI is currently using a psycic to help them, who claims he knows where the agent is being kept, or he can at least help find her. This story we have is a very basic story that we would have seen in an episode of the show. Except in this film, Scully has her own storyline that is a prominent part of the film but has no connection to Mulders story involving the missing agent. Of course they are helping eachother until Scully realizes Mulder is doing this for his dead sister. Look theres a lot I can get into here, but I won't for time reasons.

I cared more the Scully aspect of the story actually, about her patient that she so desperately wants to help. At what cost though? Same moral dilema goes for Mulders story. Which inevitablely hurts their personal relationship (which by the way they are a couple now living together). Scullys half of the movie was the more dramtic element to the film, and you really feel for her character (fan or not). She struggles with the higher authorities at the hospital, she struggles with Mulder, she struggles with her faith, etc.

With the investigative storyline, it does tend to drag on a tad bit, which was my main issue with this movie. The villians of the story really get no screentime, and when they do they are speaking russian and we have no subtitles. We don't really know exactly what their big diabolical plan is beyond the current issue (which I won't reveal as it could be major spoilers). So the story really doesn't create much tension, meaning we aren't scared of these baddies. So much occurs in the end with little explanation that it bothered me. The show was always very good at explaining to us everything that we needed to know, yet I think it faltered here in the second movie. However, the overstall story of the film was excellent at staying with the shows format.

The Story and Screenplay rating: **** out of *****

The Performances: Probably the film's strongest point was the performances. David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson have both been recognized by the Emmy's, Golden Globes and SAG Awards. They changed nothing about that for the film. Duchovny was his charming little self that us X-Files fan grew to love in the show. He plays his character so well. Mulder is kind of a selfish man and tries not to listen to people telling him what to do, and he does that well bouncing off Gillian Anderson. Anderson, i my opinion, steals the show. She was the only one to actually win an Emmy of the two, but she was always over shadowed by Duchovny in the spotlight. While he's a great actor, at least on the show and in these movies, Anderson gives us an array of emotions that make the audience feel for her struggle and simply love her! She doesn't go quietly into the night, and Scully isn't afraid to let people know what she thinks about them. Anderson was fantastic on the show, and she was great in the first movie, but here is where I think she truly shined. She turned up those acting chops and delivers an amazing performance. Not Oscar worthy by any means, but you catch my drift.

The rest of the cast is good, but all very much supporting. Billy Connolly plays the ex-catholic priest who molested alter boys turned psycic. He's a bit quirky and occasionaly over the top in his performance, but he is playing an eccentric old psycic man. He's no Peter Boyle (true X-Files fan will get that one). Then we have Amanda Peet who plays the FBI agent who originally asks for Mulder and Scullys help. She was better than I was expecting, but her character is so one dimensional and useless after a certain point in the movie that you just don't care. She was very good, but her character wasn't. Finally we have Xzibit playing Peet's partner. He plays kind of a jerk, and doesn't actually get a whole lot of screentime or speaking lines, but when he is on screen, he actually wasn't that bad at all. Kinda suprising actually. Oh and p.s. nice little limited performance from Mitch Pileggi. Glad to see him back.

The Performances rating: **** out of *****


The Direction and Filmaking: I liked the look of this movie. It was so very much nostalgic of the show. The show was always known for having a dark look, and this movie is no exception. The whole movie is so dimmly lit and morose, but does so to create a creepy mood. That worked for me. There were a lot of shots I thought were really cool too. The camera weeved around the line of agents in the snow beautifully. Chris Carter always did a wonderful job filming the show, and I'm glad he's getting a chance to direct his characters on the big screen (he didn't direct the first film). He showed his dark side in this film, where in the first one it was more "bright" so to speak.

The first film is better, but that didn't stop me from enjoying this movie!

CURRENT MIKEY @ THE MOVIES AWARD NOMINATIONS:

• Best Other Genre Motion Picture


• Best Dramatic Actress in a Leading Role (Gillian Anderson)


• Best Theatrical Trailer

To view this film's theatrical trailer, click this link: The X-Files: I Want to Believe

*This is the 71st new film I've seen and reviewed this year.