2009 Review #50: Inkheart

Inkheart

Rated PG
(fantasy adventure action, some scary moments and brief language)
1 hour 38 minutes

Storyline:
A young girl discovers her father has an amazing talent to bring characters out of their books and must try to stop a freed villain from destroying them all, with the help of her father, her aunt, and a storybook's hero.

Starring:
Brendan Fraser
Paul Bettany
Helen Mirren
Eliza Bennett
Andy Serkis

Critics Grade:
F

My Grade:
D+

I decided to a throw movies onto my Netflix list that people really dogged on, just to see if they really were that bad. Inkheart was critically smashed for the most part when it first arrived in theaters. Not to many people gave this movie any average praise. They all said kids would not care for this flick because it lacked charm and charisma and had no heart and was just plain boring. Well I was curious to see if this was all true.

Inkheart is not a bad movie by any stretch of the imagination. Trust me I have seen some BAD movies in my life, and this is Oscar worthy compared to those said crap fest films. That being said, Inkheart isn't exactly "good" either. This is one of those kid movies that is way over the head of most children the film is targeting. I don't know if any child under 10 would really understand this movie as a whole or really be all that into the movie. Kids that age like "flashy" things, and comical sidekicks and funny gags. This movie doesn't have any of that. It's all to serious for a childrens flick. That's what kid movies are doing these days...they are becoming to sophisticated for the brain of a young child. They don't take into consideration what kids really like. Sure this movie has some cool effects that might make a kid go "ooooooooh" but not enough.

This movie played out more like the film "Stardust", which I was a fan of. That at least had the guts to say it was meant for adults and it was rated PG-13. I'm not saying that Inkheart should be PG-13, but it almost plays out like a movie like that. It's a much less fun version of the "Pirates" movies. This movie is just bland, not only for kids but for adults. It doesn't have any thrills or really any likable characters. No you don't hate the main heroes of the story, but you don't really care for them either. This movie isn't funny. I don't think I laughed once. Brendan Fraser has done this same old movie time and time again, and he really needs to stop now. He needs a new genre of film to work on. Let someone else take over the helm please.

I can't sit here and say this movie sucks or that it's bad it's just not fun in any way. It's not entertaining. It has a really cool idea about a man who can read a book and the story comes to life instantly...cool right? Well this movie poorly executes that idea. It could have been done so much better. If they just said, "alright, this isn't a kids movie, lets have fun with this" it might have been better. But it just ends up getting lost in the mix somewhere. Please, go rent the movie "Up" for your kids to enjoy, laugh at and be inspired by...Inkheart really isn't the movie to do that.

2009 Review #49: The Education of Charlie Banks

The Education of Charlie Banks

Rated R
(pervasive language, some violence, sexual content, and drug and alcohol use)
1 hour 40 minutes

Storyline:
College student Charlie Banks has to face old problems when the bully he had an unpleasant encounter with back in high school shows up on his campus.

Starring:
Jesse Eisenberg
Jason Ritter
Eva Amurri
Chris Marquette

Critics Grade:
D

My Grade:
C

This is a movie that clearly not a whole lot of people have even heard of. It's been out since around the beginning of 2009 and has less then 1000 voted on IMDB. It only has a total of 26 reviews on Rotten Tomatoes...which is really low. This movie was never really "out there" for people to see. But now it is available on DVD, and I saw it on Netflix and it caught my eye. The movie is basically about a quiet, kind of nerdy kid named Charlie who has come face to face once again with a childhood/high school bully that he has always been deeply afraid of. Charlie one ratted this bully out to the cops only to recant but the bully never knew that. Now Charlie is just trying to get through college and also trying to become more than friends with a fellow female student.

This movie has "independent" written all over it. Did you know this was the directorial debut of musician Fred Durst? I kid you not! Honestly I never would have guessed he could ever direct a film and if he did I would have imagined it would have been pretty bad. However my thoughts would have been wrong. I think he did quite a good job for his debut. I didn't think that was a great film and it is ultimately forgettable, but all things considered, Durst did a fairly good job capturing the realism of college and all the potential problems that could arise amongst college aged people.

That being said, this movie has a pretty big flaw in my eyes: it is very dull. The writing especially, falls very flat and for the most part is incredibly one dimensional. Yeah yeah yeah, I'm not a screenwriter and I have no idea how hard it is to write a screenplay. I know all that. But that doesn't mean a person who watches enough movies can tell when a screenplay doesn't pop. It didn't pop for me. Nothing stood out as being powerful or magnificent. It isn't poorly written by any means, there are some well written scenes, but in the end nothing really inspiring comes out of this tale. I don't know how else to critique it other than it just doesn't have any "oomph".

The film does have some good performances. Mainly from Jason Ritter (Freddy Vs. Jason) who plays the bully with some pretty good depth. His performance is so authentic I thought. He shows us the deeply mean and troubled side to a bully but also the side of him that wants to be good and to be redeemed. You feel bad for him. I also liked Chris Marquette (Alpha Dog, The Invisible) who plays the friend torn between the good (Charlie) and the bad (the bully) who is friends with both. He's been a bit actor for probably all of his career, but I thought he was solid this time out. Jesse Eisenberg (Adventureland, Zombieland) actually annoyed me in this movie. I can't exactly put my finger on it...but his performance was just annoying as all hell. I couldn't stand him and he was the main character! He had this high pitched naisley voice when he was angry, and at other times he was to quiet and his voice "fidgeted" to much. It just bothered me, it was a distraction.

Overall this is a fairly good movie with some good direction by Fred Durst but it fails to have a captivating storyline that packs a very weak punch. Some good performances and some OK ones. Overall just a good but forgettable film. That's all I can really say.

2009 Review #48: The Men Who Stare at Goats

The Men Who Stare at Goats

Rated R

(language, some drug content and brief nudity)

1 hour 33 minutes

Storyline:

A reporter in Iraq might just have the story of a lifetime when he meets Lyn Cassady, a guy who claims to be a former member of the U.S. Army's First Earth Battalion, a unit that employs paranormal powers in their missions.

Starring:

George Clooney

Ewan McGregor

Jeff Bridges

Kevin Spacey

Critics Grade:

C-

My Grade:
B

The Men Who Stare at Goats is certainly not going to be a film for everyone. This is one of those movies that has a very quirky oddness to it, that may fly right past some audiences. I'm not saying this movie is to smart for "dumb" audiences, I mean that it's attempts at a story and especially it's sense of humor may be a little out there for some people, and a lot of folks just simply may not get it. Well I got it...and that's because I have a weird sense of humor.

This movie however, lacks a centralized and sensible storyline. I don't mean that I was expecting a storyline that makes sense, just a storyline that fits with the movie...but it didn't really have that. In fact, there wasn't much of a plot at all. If I were to descrive this movie, I don't think I really can. I would just say to a friend, "Yeah, it's that weird new George Clooney movie about soldiers who who trained to fight battle using their minds"...and that's all I would really be able to muster. This movie has a LOT going on...just not much of a confined screenplay. There is SOMETHING there though, enough to hang onto in a way.

The performances and sense of humor is what drives this movie. The two of them combined add up to a pretty darn entertaining and fun flick. It's one of those guilty pleasure type movies. There is no reason to truly love this film, but I found myself intrigued by it's charming style. I've always felt Oscar winner George Clooney (Syriana, Michael Clayton) has been slightly over rated. However this time out I thought he was perfect and near brilliant as the deranged ex-paranormal military man. His character was so bizarre and amazingly entertaining and Clooney portrayed him fantastically. Ewan McGregor (Star Wars: Episode One, Moulin Rouge) has never really been a "great" actor, but he's had his moments. He was pretty average here, but had some great moments, especially with Clooney. Jeff Bridges and Kevin Spacey were good as well in their limited roles. The casting for this film was awesome! It's what really made this film.

So despite a plot that has literally no direction, this movie is carried by a well balanced cast of nut jobs and borderline sane folk and some witty and fun humor that I recommend it to any fan of film. It's not a perfect movie, it's not even all that great of a film. But dammit, it's good wholesome fun and entertaining as hell. Even though hell is probably not all that entertaining. But you know what I mean. I don't think you'd be wasting your money going to see this movie...so go ahead...see it. Tell me what ya think!

2009 Review #47: Grace

Grace

Rated R
(bloody images, violence and some sexual content and brief nudity)
1 hour 24 minutes

Storyline:
After losing her unborn child, Madeline Matheson insists on carrying the baby to term. Following the delivery, the child miraculously returns to life with an appetite for human blood. Madeline is faced with a mother's ultimate decision.

Starring:
Jordan Ladd
Gabrielle Rose
Samantha Ferris

Critics Grade:
C

My Grade:
F

How this movie has a 71% on rotten tomatoes is beyond me. This movie should have come with some sort of warning like: "Caution, this movie may induce vomiting or the urge to gouge your eyes out with a dull butter knife." Basically this movie is disgusting. I did not get this movie whatsoever. I don't see the appeal. It is not much of a horror film, so much as it is a pure gross fest!

I didn't understand the point of the movie. Was this baby supposed to be the devil? Some kind of demon? Something pure evil? The baby has this thirst for blood but the baby doesn't actually do anything evil other than that. It's just a cute little baby that drinks blood. The mother is obsessed with keeping the baby happy and kills for her...OK...so what's the overall point or message of the film? I have no idea, is the answer!! I think this movie exists to make people squirm...that's it! Ha! It doesn't have much of a good storyline. Because there is also the crazy mother in law who wants the baby for herself because she misses breast feeding her son (who died). There is a disturbing scene of this older woman having her husband suck on her breast because she craves it. It's sick!

This whole movie is sick! I didn't like it at all! Between the crazy breast feeding obsessed older woman and the baby sucking down bottles of human blood...ugh! For most people that I know...none of them would ever want to watch this crap. There are plenty of people who WOULD like it...and good for them...but this movie was wrong in my eyes. It was disgusting and extremely, over the top, disturbing. I never want to lay eyes on this film again. Despite the fact that it was filmed well and had semi decent performances...this movie is terrible! Sorry to those who may have enjoyed it...but I REALLY REALLY disliked it!

2009 Review #46: Year One

Year One

Rated PG-13
(crude and sexual content throughout, brief strong language and comic violence)
1 hour 37 minutes

Storyline:
Zed, a prehistoric would-be hunter, eats from a tree of forbidden fruit and is banished from his tribe, accompanied by Oh, a shy gatherer. On their travels, they meet Cain and Abel on a fateful day, stop Abraham from killing Isaac, become slaves, and reach the city of Sodom where their tribe is now enslaved. Zed and Oh are determined to rescue the women they love, Maya and Eema. Standing in their way is Sodom's high priest and the omnipresent Cain.

Starring:
Jack Black
Michael Cera
David Cross
Oliver Platt

Critics Grade:
F

My Grade:
C-

Well I won't waste much of my time reviewing this movie. I originally thought this was some kind of spoof movie, but it isn't. It's a stand alone comedy about two hunter gatherers who travel together and meet several biblical characters doing some crazy hi jinks. Eh, it wasn't all that good or all that funny. I don't think it's an "F" movie like rotten tomatoes basically has it at because it does have some pretty funny moments. Just not enough. It's not very consistent. Of course it's poorly written, but I wasn't expecting an Oscar caliber screenplay here. But a lot of the jokes seem either out dated or just plain tired. Michael Cera and Jack Black's styles of humor work well together, but both of them seem to be passed their prime. Both of their styles of humor are kind of old now and not many people laugh at them. They are old news. This film might have benefited from maybe some unknowns with a new sense of comedic style. All the biblical references were obviously a bit silly and inaccurate...but whatever. I don't know, this isn't a good movie. It's not very funny...to me at least. This may be hilarious to other people...I just didn't really get it. It had some redeeming moments, but not enough for me to really recommend it to anyone. It's just OK. Simple as that.