Movies are meant to be an escape. They are meant to entertain. You should probably never take a film too seriously, unless maybe it's a documentary about a truly important and inspiring topic. Yet we still have those critics who like to knock a movie down because it has elements of "implausibility" or being to "unbelievable". They say things like, "well that can't happen in real life, so it was just silly!". Well you aren't watching real life, you are watching the world of cinema...where anything can happen! That being said, it is still fun to point out the funny little movie inconsistencies and cliches. Here is a list of some of my favorites.
1. If there is a car or foot chase in a film, there will almost always be a pair or workers carrying a plate of glass or a wandering fruit cart for them to collide into.
2. Guns in movies have an infinite amount of ammo.
3. During a shoot out, when it's one or two hero's against a mob of bad guys; the bad guys can fire 100's of rounds and not make one direct hit. Yet the good guys can fire blindly and pick off the bad guys one by one.
4. Before a car falls off the edge of a cliff, it will usually teeter over the edge for a few minutes. The second a bird lands on the front of the car...it flies over the edge into an explosive end. But don't worry, the good guys will always get out in just the nick of time!
5. If a speeding car crashes into a parked car, the moving car will be the one to flip and spin like crazy but the parked car will barely move.
6. A movie character can go through a horrific car accident and end up in a flipped over car after rolling down a hill. Minus a few trickles of blood, the hero will always be able to get out of the car within moments and not seem hurt or at least out of it, at all.
7. During a running chase, a woman will always fall to the ground, even if she is running on a completely flat surface. It will take her 15 to 30 seconds to recover and stand up.
8. Movie women apparently don't know how or when to run until their male counterpart grabs them and carries them along.
9. When movie characters are dying or are seriously injured, you shouldn't immediately call an ambulance, but hold them in your arms and cry over their injured or dying body saying how much you love them.
10. If a movie character needs to beat an elevator, all they have to do is run up a flight of stairs and they will always get there before the elevator even opens...even if it's up multiple flights.
11. Movie characters will usually keep newspaper clipping of terrible events that happened in their lives tacked all over their walls as painful, daily reminders.
12. Before a bad guy can take the shot and kill the good guy when he has him trapped, he must give a long winded speech giving the hero or their sidekick ample time to plan a surprise defense.
13. If two characters are sword fighting, there will almost always be a shot of their shadows fighting while they are off screen.
14. Don't duel under a tapestry or chandelier...because someone will surely cut it down to crash down on of their enemies.
15. In an epic battle with one guy against a small army (with swords, axes, etc) the good guy will only fight one bad guy at a time, while the other bad guys just sit around and wait their turn instead of swarming the good guy and finish him off.
16. If a missile or a hoard of gunfire is being directed at a helicopter with a villain inside, the helicopter will immediately explode. If the same happens to a helicopter with the hero inside, the copter will first smoke and alarms will go off and the helicopter will slowly start falling to the streets below and the good guy will have time to get his bearings and jump onto a roof of a building before the helicopter finally explodes on the ground below.
17. The hero will always miss the villain leaving the scene of the crime by mere seconds...but doesn't decide to chase after them.
18. On the day of their long awaiting retirement, a film detective will always get the biggest case of their career which will probably end with them dying.
19. During a fist fight, the good guy will never show pain after being beat mercifully. But when it comes time for a woman or a doctor to apply rubbing alcohol to their wounds...they wince in pain.
20. A sidekick who is built up as a nerd and a wimp, will usually pull through in the end and save the day.
21. No matter what their job is, movie characters who live in New York always seem to have huge, expensive looking apartments.
22. If there are ghosts or demons in a movie characters house...they will never actually leave.
23. If there is an intruder in their home, a hero will grab a weapon and press their back against the wall and shimmy along as if that makes them hidden.
24. There will always be a cat or a crow locked inside a closet or armoire that jumps out at just the right moment.
25. If you have a facial scar, that usually means your bad news.
26. A single lit match will have the same power a high wattage light bulb and will be able to light an entire room.
27. To save a persons life, no need to seek medical help, just shake them and scream at them things like "You can't leave me now!" and start to cry over their body...they will soon come back to life.
28. People in films don't have any common courtesy on the phone: no one ever says "bye"!
29. Most seasoned movie detectives are divorced, live in a crappy apartment and usually drink themselves to sleep each night.
30. An epic gun battle can happen in the middle of a busy street, but the cops will only show up after it's done no matter how long the battle was.
31. No woman is in labor for several hours...the baby usually pops out in a matter of minutes.
32. In prison based movies, there is usually one evil guard.
33. When a character turns on the radio or TV news, they will always turn it on at the exact moment when the case relevant to them is being announced.
34. Also, when a character called by a friend to turn on the news right now, the character will do so but will be able to hear the news story from the very beginning and not turn it on in the middle.
35. When a character rewinds a video or tape recorder segment, they will always stop it at the exact moment they need to see or hear.
36. Movie teachers never seem to be able to keep track of time. They are always interrupted by the end of class bell in the middle of their lesson.
37. After a steamy sex scene, the female character will always have the sheet pulled up to her neck while the man will have it pulled up to his waist.
38. Bags of groceries will always have some kind of large vegetable sticking out of the top, or a baguette.
39. If the good guy has snuck into the bad guys lair, he will probably find himself in a situation where he will have to hide by pressing his arms and legs into a niche on the ceiling just above the bad guy. He will then begin to sweat and a single drop of sweat will drip off his face and just barely miss the bad guy.
40. Bad guys will never die the first time. You can shoot and stab them, but they will resurrect at least one time to attach the good guys one last time until they are shot again and finally die. Until the sequel.
41. If you are in a war movie, do not show a picture of your lovely family back at home...because you will die.
42. When people look through binoculars in a movie, and we see the view from their perspective, we always see two circles..not one.
43. No one ever locks their cars.
44. While driving, people seem to move the steering wheel side to side to signify to us that they are in fact driving. Yet if they moved the wheel that way, they would be all over the road crashing into several cars.
45. You can hack into any computer quite easily from a separate laptop. Passwords are usually pretty easy to crack.
46. If you don't want people to recognize you, such as a bad guy you are running from, simply cover your face with your hand or slip a small part of your jacket over your face...no one will notice you then.
47. In order for you to realize how much you love your ex-spouse who you are going through a nasty divorce with...they have to get kidnapped and you have to rescue them in order to re-spark that old flame.
48. You brand new car will not start when a masked serial killer is chasing you...well it will, but not until the very last possible moment.
49. Women can run at top speeds from bad guys in high heels just fine.
50. The bad guy and good guy are in a face off with guns pointed at each other. A shot is fired and there is a dramatic pause before we find out who was shot. The camera will then slowly pan back to reveal that a 3rd party fired a gun to kill the bad guy.
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