Disaster Movie

Disaster Movie

Rated PG-13

Running time: 1 hr 30 mins

Cast:

Matt Lanter
Vanessa Minnilo
G. Thang

Nicole Parker
Crista Flanagan

Critical consensus:

1/2 out of *****
(0% Fresh Rating!)

Matt's Take:

F

Mikey @ The Movies Official Rating:

0 out of *****

The premise:

Over the course of one evening, an unsuspecting group of twenty-somethings find themselves bombarded by a series of natural disasters and catastrophic events.

MY REVIEW

If you want some long review on this film please go to my good buddy Matt's page (the link is above). He did enough reviewing of this film for the both of us. Disaster Movie, and I hate to sound cliche, is a purely disasterous film on every single level.

There was virtually NOTHING funny about any of the incredibly random jokes that just made no sense for this film. Why do movies like this insist on throwing in jokes that only Jr. High kids in 1997 would find funny? Most, if not ALL of these jokes are so unbelievably outdated. Some are just pointless and go on WAY to effing long! That Hannah Montana scene...I almost wanted to kill myself and Matt in a murder-suicide to end our suffering. Man! That joke litterally went on for maybe 8 minutes. Or how about the joke about the 2008 film, Wanted? Yeah, it went on for about 2 minutes more than it needed to. It wasn't funny to begin with. This movie is just FULL of crap jokes like this. FULL of them I tell you!

The characters were all so...UGH! This is a classy review, let me tell you! I can't even finish sentences. We have a Dr. Phil who you wouldn't have even known was supposed to be Dr. Phil if he hadn't said his name. A sabertooth Amy Winehouse, a black midget Indiana Jones, the Sex and the City girls with Carrie played by a man, the list goes on. The most annoying character that was in most of the film was the "Juno" character. We get the fact that Juno was a sarcastic teen...do you need to remind us every 5 seconds of this film? Not only did this actress completely overstay her welcome as the character, but her impersonation of her was dumb. She would say something overly witty (and not in a funny way), and then her friends in the film would point out how annyoying and witty she is...at least 20 times in the film. WE GET IT!!

I have to admit, I DID have to hold back laughter in the movie. I refused to actually laugh at something in the movie, but I agree with Matt that the Enchanted girl was the funniest part of the movie. Most of the film she was in, was actually kind of funny. The fact they made her a drugged out princess and not from some fantasy world, was quite humorous. She never got on my nerves, but again, I held back laughter. I just couldn't do it. I could not laugh at garbage film that I didn't even pay for.

Was this "better" than Meet the Spartans, well I would have to say......

To view this films theatrical trailer: Disaster Movie

*This is the 94th new film I've seen and reviewed this year.

Bottle Shock

Bottle Shock

Rated PG-13

Running time: 1 hr 50 mins

Cast:

Alan Rickman
Chris Pine
Bill Pullman
Rachel Taylor
Freddy Rodriguez

Critical consensus:

**1/2 out of *****
(46% Fresh Rating!)

Matt's take:

Coming Soon....

Mikey @ The Movies Official Rating:

** out of *****

The premise:

The story of the early days of California wine making featuring the now infamous, blind Paris wine tasting of 1976 that has come to be known as "Judgment of Paris".

MY REVIEW

I'll be completely honest, I didn't stay for the entire length of the film. I believe we walked out of the theater roughly 15 minutes before the film concluded. Not because it was an awful film of pure torture, but because we had plans to sneak into a film that WAS awful and pure torture. Where do our priorities lie? What can you do though. Due to this however, I will be fair and make this review short.

Bottle Shock is a slow moving film labeled as a comedy, but isn't very funny at all. I don't even see where the humor was supposed to be. Maybe it was too smart and too witty for my brain to understand. I may never really know. The story itself lacks any interesting or engaging qualities. Honestly, how in depth can you get with a story about a wine tasting competition? I'm sorry, but there is NO excitement in that, you aren't itching to find out how it all ends. Even though we know already how it ends, seeing as how its a true story. Were we supposed to be fascinated by this story? Maybe some rich drunks out there will love it, but for me it was a snooze fest.

The movie wasn't all bad. It had some good performances. Alan Rickman never dissapoints in my mind and here he was just what I expect of him. He was the funniest aspect of the film. He was the most interesting character in a film that lacks anything interesting. Bill Pullman kind of stood out in my opinion. I've never known him to be a great, suberb performer, but here is actually really good. Not Oscar caliber or anything, but better that what I've ever seen him do in a film. The younger cast: Chris Pine, Rachel Taylor and Freddy Rodriguez all stood their ground and did a fine job. The performances were definitely the best part of this film.

Overall, I wouldn't suggest seeing the film, but you can if you want. For me the film just felt hollow and pointless.

To view this films theatrical trailer, click this link: Bottle Shock

*This is the 93rd new film I've seen and reviewed this year.

Brideshead Revisited

Brideshead Revisited

Rated PG-13

Running time: 2 hrs 3 mins

Cast:

Matthew Goode
Hayley Atwell
Ben Whishaw
Emma Thompson

Critical consensus:

*** out of *****
(68% Fresh Rating!)

Matt's take:
B-

Mikey @ The Movies Official Rating:

**1/2 out of *****

The premise:

Based on Evelyn Waugh's 1945 classic British novel, Brideshead Revisited is a poignant story of forbidden love and the loss of innocence set in England prior to the Second World War.

MY REVIEW

Coming in to this film, I knew nothing about it, I never even saw a preview for the movie. All I was told was that it looked like a knockoff of the film Atonement. To those who read my reviews and know me, you would know that Atonement was my choice as the best film of 2008...by far. It was a beautiful and haunting tale of love and regret. Brideshead Revisited is NO Atonement.

The story seemed to be all over the place. Matthew Goode's (The Lookout) character is introduced to a wealthy family that isn't quite perfect. First he meets the flamboyant Sebastian, played by Ben Whishaw (I'm Not There). Sebastian is clearly a homosexual, or at least going throuh a "gay phase". Yet Goode finds a friend in him and he grows to love him deeply as a friend. Then we are introduced to the other two prominent members of the family: Julia played by Hayley Atwell and Lady Marchmain played by Oscar winner Emma Thompson (Howards End, Sense & Sensibility). This family is pretty disturbed. Mommy dearest is a DEVOUT Catholic woman and almost forces it upon her children. Sebastian is clearly gay (and has the hots for Goode) and Julia calls herself the family "shadow".

The relationships were bizzare in this film. Goode and Whishaw share some moments that would make you believe Goode is also gay, or at least experimenting. He at times looks longingly into Sebastians eyes, they swim completely nude together and frolic about, and yes they even share a momentary kiss. There were clear gay undertones to this film, but never seemed to be a huge issue with his devout Catholic mother. Then Goode falls in love with Julia.....and thats what the rest of the movie tends to be about. I don't know, I just felt the story confused me to much. It was very slow paced, which normally isn't a problem for me, but the story didn't captivate me in the least so the it was a problem.

The film centered around religion and catholism a lot. Honestly, that was probably the best aspect of the story for me. It's always such a touchy subject isn't it? But Thompson's character relies on it, she loves God very much and theres nothing wrong with that. Yet she lets it control her life and the life of her children, and that causes some of the films best controversy. So I just wanted to mention that. I thought it was done rather tastefully, if that makes sense.

The performances were all good. The two main guys were very effective. The leading lady was pretty average. The only one I truly loved was Emma Thompson. I thought she was quite brilliant in the film. I've always loved her as an actress and she can almost play anything. She was a very subdued kind of nut job in this film, and boy was she great at it.

So me personally...I didn't like it all that much. A little too boring, a little to much going on, and the ending dragged on for 20 or so minutes and just needed to stop. It has a classy and beautiful look, wonderful set designs and costuming, good performances, but lacked in a captivating story for my liking.

To view this films theatrical trailer, click this link: Brideshead Revisited

*This is the 92nd new film I've seen and reviewed this year.

Traitor

Traitor

Rated PG-13

Running time: 1 hr 54 mins

Cast:

Don Cheadle
Guy Pierce
Neal McDonough
Jeff Daniels

Critical consensus:

*** out of *****
(56% Fresh Rating)

Matt's Take:

A-

Mikey @ The Movies Official Rating:

**** out of *****

The premise:

When straight arrow FBI agent Roy Clayton (Pearce) heads up the investigation into a dangerous international conspiracy, all clues seem to lead back to former U.S. Special Operations officer, Samir Horn (Cheadle).

MY REVIEW

Traitor is kind of like 2008's version of, The Kingdom. Meaning its an action film that centers around an actual intelligent plot and doesn't rely on "wow-ing" the audience with cool stunts. Don't get me wrong, all the action moments are great, it just doesn't steal anything from the movie itself. Giving us a well made action thriller.

I was originally concerned that this film would be political, the same concern I had before seeing The Kingdom. You see when it comes to anything political, I'll admit I'm ignorant. However I was relieved that the story of the film wasn't that politcal at all. From what I gathered the whole storlyine was an original concept. The Don Cheadle (Crash, Hotel Rwanda) character gets involved in a terrorist cell that plans to conduct a widespread attack on US citizens. At first, we aren't really sure if he is some form of American spy, or if he really is involved. Yet we know due to the previews and about halfway through the film, that he is a spy sort.

For me, it's at that point in the film where the movie and its story get really good. We now know this guys true intentions, and we see him struggle with numerous things. He struggles with staying covert, he struggles in maintaining the trust of the terrorist leaders, and he struggles with one of the terrorists he truly befriends. It also becomes a great spy thriller. We see two parts of the story, Cheadles infeltration into the terrorist cell and then we see the FBI agents trying to catch him. So in a way, it works well as a cat and mouse story too.

None of the actual action is over the top, which seems to be a rare things in action films these days. All of it is much needed to further the story. You never would think that Don Cheadle would be an action star, I definitely didn't. Even as the film was starting, I wasn't sure if it would be believable, but he actually does a very good job with it. Eat your heart out Matt Damon and your boring Bourne movies, Don Cheadle has taken your seat! Performance wise, Cheadle is wonderful as usual. This guys is just another one of those deeply underrated actors. He received an Oscar nomination for Hotel Rwanda few years back, and that was deserved; but I feel he's been robbed of a few others. I kind of hope he doesn't become to big of a name, I think he should just keep doing what he's doing.

Also in the film is a complete Oscar snub, Guy Pearce (Memento, LA Confidential). His performance in Memento alone just added to the greatness that was that film, and he received no attention for it. Sad. In this one, I think he does a good job. Not his best work, but pulls off a tough guy FBI agent rather well. So kudos to him. Neal McDonough (Minority Report, Flags of Our Fathers) plays his partner. He's not an overly important character, and the same goes in his acting life. You see this guy, and you known you've seen him before but don't know where...that's the kind of actor he is. I know him from Minority Report. You know, he's a good actor and he's good here, just not recognizable and I don't think he could ever pull off a strong lead performance. Last we have Jeff Daniels (Pleasantville, The Lookout). His role is basically limited to an extended cameo. We see him in maybe 3 or 4 scenes tops. Last year he delivered a very stand out performance in The Lookout and was one of my finalists for Best Supporting Actor. No such luck here. I mean he's good, just doesn't really leave you with any lasting image. I don't know why, but this guy always reminds me of Uncle Joey from Full House....

The direction I thought was excellent. I loved the grainy look of the film. I think I even picked up on a few shaky cam effects, which I'm actually a fan of. Overall, Traitor is a really solid action thriller that most people would enjoy. Nothing over the top about it, yet nothing profound about it. I recommend it!

To view this films theatrical trailer, click this link: Traitor

*This is the 91st new film I've seen and reviewed this year.

Quid Pro Quo

Quid Pro Quo

Rated R

Running time: 1 hr 22 mins

Cast:

Nick Stahl
Vera Farmiga

Critical consensus:

*** out of *****
(66% Fresh Rating!)

Matt's Take:

Has Not Viewed

Mikey @ The Movies Official Rating:

*1/2 out of *****

The premise:

A semi-paralyzed radio reporter is sent out to investigate a story that leads him into an odd subculture and on a journey of disturbing self-realization.

MY REVIEW

I simply did not get this movie. At the end, it just made no sense to me in the least bit. A paralyzed man comes into contact with a group of people known as "wannabees"; people who want to be paralyzed. What?! I don't know if there are people in real life who are like this, but I certainly hope not. The really bad part about this movie, is we get no true insight into these people and why they thrive to spend their lives in wheelchairs. Yet they take it incredibly seriously. Being parazlyzed isn't a gift, it's not convienent I can only imagine. That's why this movie is SO bizzare!

The story moves at a snails pace. The preview makes it look like a thriller, but theres nothing thrilling about it. Nick Stahl's (Terminator 3) character meets and falls for a woman played by Vera Famiga (The Departed) who desperately wants to be in a wheelchair. She wants to feel it. She is actually envious of Nick Stahl. At one point in the movie, she decides to go "public" with her wheelchair. Look I don't even know what to say, her character, moreover, this story was ridiculous. Stahl was his usual self, not bad at all. A little overdramatic if you ask me, but thats what this ludicrous story calls for I guess. Famiga was just terrible in my opinion. Overacted almost every scene she was in. Dreadful.

Theres a "twist" at the end I guess you can say. I kind of saw it coming. They didn't do much with it, the movie kind of just faded away. To call this film one of the worst of the year would be going a little to far, but listen, its a dreadful film that I don't recommend to anyone.

To view this films theatrical trailer, click this link: Quid Pro Quo

*This is the 90th new film I've seen and reviewed this year.

*This film is now on DVD.

MADE FOR TV SPOTLIGHT: The Bone Eater

The Bone Eater

Rated PG-13
Running time: 1 hr 30 mins
DVD Release Date: February 9th

Cast:

Paul Rae
Bruce Boxleitner
Clara Bryant

MY REVIEW

Hahahahahahahaha!!!

And that may be my shortest and defintely most immature review of all time, but this film deserves it whole heartedly.

You know those really garbage films you see on the Sci-Fi network with just downright despicable special effects and acting? Well this is basically that kind of film, but apparently was more deserving of a straight to DVD release instead.

No one can EVER deny now that I don't sit through the worst of the absolute worst for the good of movie watching man kind. How much low can it possibly get? I can't WAIT to find out.

Oh my gosh...and that's all that I truly have to say.

Mikey @ The Movies Official Rating: 0 out of *****

*This is the 89th new "film" I've seen and reviewed this year.

*This supposed thing called a "film" is now on DVD.

*Straight to DVD movies do not qualify for my awards...but man sometimes I wish they did!

The Life Before Her Eyes

The Life Before Her Eyes

Rated R

Running time: 1 hr 30 mins

Cast:

Uma Thurman
Evan Rachel Wood

Critical consensus:

** out of *****
(26% Fresh Rating!)

Matt's Take:

B-

Mikey @ The Movies Official Rating:

***1/2 out of *****

The premise:

A woman's survivor's guilt from a Columbine-like event twenty years ago causes her present-day idyllic life to fall apart.

MY REVIEW

The Life Before Her Eyes is a little known film that won't get any recognition or anything of the sort at years end. In fact, it wasn't exactly received well by the critics. I can understand why but at the same time, I relatively liked this somber little film. There was no moments of sheer brilliance, or nothing that just wowed me but still, it was good. I'd probably recommend it to anyone. It has an eerie opening few scenes, that lead up to a school shooting. The film from then on, is pretty dark and depressing. This isn't a story for people who like films with at least a few moments of happiness and a pretty, happy little ending. Its the sort of movie that will marginally captivate you and at times, make you think.

There are basically only two stars of the film, both playing the same character. Oscar nominee Uma Thurman (Pulp Fiction, Kill Bill)plays the older version. Her character is the one dealing with the post traumatic stress of the school shooting that are told happened 15 years ago. Thurman has always been one of those really good actresses who gets overshadowed by the bigger named ladies. Personally thinking, she should have been nominated for an Oscar for Kill Bill: Volume II, she was incredible in that film. Yet, she is overlooked time and time again. There really is no exception here. She's good in this film, maybe a little too dramatic at times, but her character suffered an awful tragedy, what do you expect. The other half, the younger one is played by Golden Globe and SAG Award nominee Evan Rachel Wood (Thirteen). This young actress has proved now that she can hold her own amongst the big guns, assuming she doesn't let Hollywood consume her and strip her youth away and turn her to drugs and alcolholism. Another fairly excellent here.

The biggest issue I have with the film is the big twist ending, and boy is there a twist. Not one you honestly can FULLY predict but I wounldn't question you if you claimed you did. The ending works, but also doesn't. I understand it completely now, in fact the title is a dead giveaway. It's just that the filmaking and primarily the editing confused me when the twist was revealed. The film before the twist now seems a little sloppy and lazily put together. Yes, I saw all the puzzle pieces, but those pieces were just so messy now that I think about it. At the same time, I loved the ending itself. It was creative and kind of different. Poetic almost. It's just sad this ending kind of tarnishes the rest of the film in a way.

Life Before Her Eyes is a good film, I just want to say that. It's one you definitely have to be in the mood for, but if you are, I suggest you watch it. It may be a little carelessly put together, but overall it works.

To view this films theatrical trailer, click this link: Life Before Her Eyes

*This is the 88th new film I've seen and reviewed this year.

*This film is now on DVD.

SHORT REVIEW: Never Back Down

Never Back Down

Rated PG-13

Running time: 1 hr 50 mins

Cast:

Sean Faris
Amber Heard
Cam Gigandet
Djimon Hounsou
Leslie Hope

Critical consensus:

** out of *****
(24% Fresh Rating!)

Matt's Take:

D-

Mikey @ The Movies Official Rating:

1/2 out of *****

The premise:

At his new high school, a rebellious teen is lured into an underground fight club, where he finds a mentor in a mixed martial arts veteran.

MY REVIEW

Can I start this review by asking why aren't teenagers playing teenagers?? Why do you have 26 year olds playing high school students?? This isn't the era of the Friday the 13th movies. This is 2008, surely you can find a few good looking, well built 17 or 18 year olds out there that can do movies like this...right? Maybe that would be considered some form of child pornography seeing as how these guys shirts are off half the movie, I suppose to please the female audience. Well, nothing about this crapfest pleased this film reviewer...then again, I'm no lady.

What we have here is a poorly acted, poorly written high school revenge movie. I understand why Sean Faris' (Yours, Mine and Ours)character wants to fight Cam Gigandet's (Who's Your Caddy?, Twilight) character, but I don't get the vice versa. Faris has pent up anger about his fathers death and his mean mommy only to be picked on by Gigandets persona. Gigandets (what the heck kind of last name is that anyway??) character is so poorly written, we don't truly get to the heart of his anger. His father is the only explanation we get. But why so much hostility towards this new guy? He saw a clip of the guy fighting on youtube, and met him for 3 seconds before he made him his nemisis. I didn't understand, but he was adament about beating the crap out of the new kid at school! What the heck?? Whatever though.

Both these leading men are pretty awful, and both aren't very noticeable stars. I don't see this film launching their film careers. Also pretty dreadful was Amber Heard, she plays a character named Baja. 'Nuff said. The curly headed sidekick played by Evan Peters (the kid from the amazing ABC cancelled show, Invasion), was so annoying and beyond ridiculous. Glad he got beat down! Then theres Leslie Hope (some may know as the late Mrs. Jack Bauer from season one of TV's 24), who was probably the "best" performance of the whole movie. Not saying much, she just didn't have enough screentime for me to completely be disgusted by her. Finally we have OSCAR nominee Djimon Hounsou (Blood Diamond). A few years back, this guy was my personal winner for Best Supporting Actor for Blood Diamond. He is a talented actor, and one who is just beginning to become a noticeable big actor...then he does this...and it just confuses me. How can he read the script of Blood Diamond (a fantastic film!) and even think a film like this could compare?? Well...happens to the best of them I suppose.

Theres no saving grace here. The filmaking is remarkably bad. This is supposed to be an exciting fight movie...but the quality of the direction is so bad we don't feel that excitement. Least I didn't. The big climatic fight at the end had no "punch" so to speak. I could care a less who the won the danged thing! I'm just going to ruin this, the "good guy" of the film wins, he beats down that kid with a weird last name. Yay, great for him. These guys are mortal enemies the entire film, yet in one of the very next scenes after the big beat down, they see eachother and give eachother a smile and head nod approval...WHAT?! So are they best buds now? Geez!

Finally, this film has a terrible message. From what I took the message was this: "when it comes down to it, you need to strike down your enemies with your fist. All your problems are solved with violence. We may not want to do it, we may know it's wrong, but ultimately it comes down to a smack down." Yeah, I'm not kidding. There was no actual moral of the story, just...beat the ever living crap out of your arch enemy, make him bleed from every part of his face. KILL him if you have to. My goodness, this is what we are showing our youth? Wonderful, as if todays youth isn't shown enough awfulness.

This movie sucked.

CURRENT MIKEY @ THE MOVIES AWARD NOMINATIONS:

• Worst Dramatic Film of the Year


• Worst Screenplay of the Year


• Worst Leading Male Actor of the Year (Sean Faris)


• Worst Supporting Male Actor of the Year (Cam Gigandet)


• Worst Supporting Male Actor of the Year (Evan Peters)


• Worst Supporting Female Actor of the Year (Amber Heard)

To view this films theatrical trailer, click this link: Never Back Down

*This is the 87th new film I've seen and reviewed this year.

*This film is now on DVD.

EXTREMELY SHORT REVIEW: Witless Protection

Witless Protection

Rated PG-13

Running time: 1 hr 37 mins

Cast:

Larry the Cable Guy
Ivana Milicevic
Jenny McCarthy

Critical consensus:

1/2 out of *****
(0% Fresh Rating!)

Matt's Take:

F

Mikey @ The Movies Official Rating:

0 out of *****

The premise:

The story centers on a small-town sheriff who witnesses what he believes is a kidnapping and rushes to rescue a woman.

MY REVIEW

Witless Protection is an awful awful motion picture. I'm not going to waste much of my breath reviewing this crap excuse for a film. Yes, it is by far one of the worst pieces of garbage this year. It is definitely one of the worst comedies of this year. It's a disgusting, vile shame to cinema. I didn't even laugh out of uncomfortableness or pure stupidity. This movie, in my mind, just sucks. Pure and utter cinematic torture. Ugh!

CURRENT MIKEY @ THE MOVIES AWARD NOMINATIONS:

• Worst Comedic Film of the Year

To view this films theatrical trailer, click this link: Witless Protection

*This is the 86th new film I've seen and reviewed this year.

*This film is now on DVD.

SHORT REVIEW: Rogue

Rogue

Rated R

Running time: 1 hr 35 mins

Cast:

Michael Vartan
Radha Mitchell
Sam Worthington

Critical consensus:

***1/2 out of *****
(100% Fresh rating!)

Matt's Take:

Has Not Viewed

Mikey @ The Movies Official Rating:

***1/2 out of *****

The premise:

An American journalist on assignment in the Australian outback encounters a man-eating crocodile.

MY REVIEW

For starters, I'm a bit shocked to discover this was not a straight-to-DVD released film, I was under the impression that it was. Turns out it was given a limited theatrical release back in April. I guess I should have realized this, considering it stars Michael Vartan (TV's Alias) and Radha Mitchell (Phone Booth, Silent Hill). Granted, these aren't huge, headlining stars, but at the same time not ones you'd see in a DVD released film. I also should have noticed when the special effects weren't completely ridiculous.

Honestly, Rogue is quite the entertaining film. I like it even more now that I know for sure it's not a crappy straight-to-DVD flick. It's a movie about a group of tourists who are attacked by a blood thirsty, man eating crocodile in the Australian Outback. You have all the potential in the world to do to much with a storyline like that, but Rogue stays very basic and really simple. The story never truly focuses to much on any one character. We don't learn any stupid, ridiculous backstory to any of these people. We know some of their general stories, but thats it. This movie is about this group trying to get away from a monster...thats it. You see hints of romance between Vartan and Mitchell but it never flourishes before our eyes, but you get the idea they grow to like eachother. Theres no over the top character you just hate with a passion, theres no noble character who tries desperately be the hero. These are all general people who are all equally scared for their lives.

Another aspect I appreciated was they didn't overshow this crocodile. In fact, you don't even see the full thing until the last 10 minutes of the movie. You see glimpses here and there, you hear his thrashing in the water and his growling, but never get a full shot of him untill the end. That honestly makes for a more realistic and successful monster movie in my opinion. When we see these glimpses, and then finally see the full thing, the effects are actually pretty good. Not the best I've ever seen obviously, but I was impressed about how almost real it actually looked.

Is this movie scary? No. Not in my mind at least. Does it have the potential to scare audiences, I think so. I just don't get scared in movies, it's very rare when a film makes me feel uncomfortable in that regard. It does happen though, trust me. That's not its only flaw. The end of the film kind of lost me. Not storywise or anything like that. It just seemed the monster was killed way to easy by one man, and the whole group couldn't devise a plot that simple before. Another thing is, they don't explain what happens to the rest of the group. You kind of have to see the film to understand what I mean. There isn't a lot of death in the movie, a lot of people make it out alive...or so we think. The group "gets away" from the monster and also the two main characters, and in the last 10 minutes of the film, we never see them again. They run into the woods...thats it. We see Vartan and Mitchell...but no one else. Unless for some reason I missed it, which is possible. I just don't want to go back and check.

Overall, if you want a fun and entertaining film, I would definitely suggest Rogue. It's not perfect or amazing, but for goodness sakes its a movie about a killer crocodile. What more do you want? An Oscar winning story? Brilliant peformances? I cherish films like this. They don't make you overthink, they don't challange you in any way, they are just a good time. I like a movie like this every once in a while. Oh and by the way, to those who wonder...I think this movie is better than that other Croc movie, Lake Placid, which some of you may know I'm a fan of.

CURRENT MIKEY @ THE MOVIES AWARD NOMINATIONS:

• None

To view this films theatrical trailer, click this link: Rogue

*This is the 85th new film I've seen and reviewed this year.

*This film is now on DVD.

MADE FOR TV SPOTLIGHT: The American Mall

The American Mall

Rated NR
Running time: 1 hr 40 mins
DVD/TV Release Date: August 11th

Cast:

Nina Dobrev

Rob Mayes
Autumn Reeser

MY REVIEW

The American Mall premiered on MTV a few weeks ago, and was also granted a DVD release. Making it a 2008 released film. Only qualifying for a simple little review from me, and thats all. The American Mall is a movie from the producer of High School Musical. It's about a group of young college bound students running amok in a mall, falling in love, having their hearts broken, and dealing with family issues. The movie never leaves the setting of this mall. If that didn't sound cheesy enough, the film is also a musical. Yes, these teens and twenty somethings break into song more than enough times to make me gag.

At least High School Musical was kind of charming and sweet, while still remaining corny. American Mall is just so overly cliched and ridiculous it got on my nerves. I mean you know exactly what's going to happen to every main character, you know how every storyline is going to end. This totally felt like a Disney movie, yet is from MTV Studios and debuted on the MTV network. I didn't know MTV had a target audience of 9 year olds. But yeah, the story is just so boring and tiresome and really just don't care about any of these characters, the good or bad. I hate to sound awful, but none of these people are what you would describe as being "hot" for a movie like this.

I don't know, but don't waste your time on this one. I suffered through it for the greater good to advise you all not to see it. I cannot stop you from checking it out, nor will I force you not to watch it. Just my opinion that most people I know that read this blog, would not care for this film one single bit.

Mikey @ The Movies Official Rating: *1/2 out of *****

*This is the 84th new film I've seen and reviewed this year.

*This film is now on DVD.

*Straight to DVD films do not qualify for my awards.

SHORT REVIEW: The Tracey Fragments

The Tracey Fragments

Rated R

Running time: 1 hr 15 mins

Cast:

Ellen Page
Maxwell McCabe-Lokos

Critical consensus:

**1/2 out of *****

Matt's Take:

Has Not Viewed

Mikey @ The Movies Official Rating:

***1/2 out of *****

The premise:

15-year-old Tracey Berkowitz is naked under a shower curtain at the back of a bus, looking for her little brother Sonny, who thinks he's a dog.

MY REVIEW

This is a film almost no one knows about; I wasn't aware of it until Netflix recommended it to me, so I checked it out. I'm glad I did. Tracey Fragments is not a film for everyone. It may only appeal to a very select few film buffs, like me I guess. The story is pretty dark and depressing, and no character is happy. The mood of the film is very morose and unnerving. You could say that the screenplay is pretty average and standard for an indie drama. However, it is in the filmaking where we get the films true unique quality.

Some films would not work as well if it wasn't as unique in style. Take for instance one of my all time favorite films, Memento. The film is a basic crime thriller story, but the film is told completely and literally backwards. We start at the end of the story and end at the start. A brilliant film. Here the film isn't told backwards, but is shot in fragments pieces...quite litterally The Tracey Fragments. Theres a screencap below to demonstrate the films look. Sometimes we get 2 squares, sometimes up to 30 or more it seemed like. These fragmented squares constantly move around. It beautifully captures the essence of the film and it's main character. The fragments are a very metaphorical device that I thought worked wonderfully. It made the film a 3 1/2 star film for me.

Pretty much the only star of the film is Oscar nominee Ellen Page (Juno, Smart People). I always figured she's be typecast as the smart ass teenager, but she proved me wrong here. Yes, she's still playing a teen, but a much more dark and sinister and deeply disturbed young girl. Her peformance is excellent, one of the best female performances of the year by far. You feel so bad for her, but also feel angry towards her at some points. Very good job at depicting this character.
If you happen to see this little known film on Netflix or at blockbuster, I would pick it up...to those who take a liking to independent dramas. If not for the story, check it out for Page's performance and just the overall uniqueness of it all.

CURRENT MIKEY @ THE MOVIES AWARD NOMINATIONS:

• Best Performance by an Actress in a Leading Role (Ellen Page)

To view this films theatrical trailer, click this link: Tracey Fragments

*This is the 83rd new film I've seen and reviewed this year.

*This film is now on DVD.

SHORT REVIEW: College Road Trip

College Road Trip

Rated PG

Running time: 1 hr 23 mins

Cast:

Martin Lawrence
Raven-Symone

Critical consensus:

*1/2 out of *****

Matt's Take:

D-

Mikey @ The Movies Official Rating:

* out of *****

The premise:

When an overachieving high school student decides to travel around the country to choose the perfect college, her overprotective cop father also decides to accompany her in order to keep her on the straight and narrow.

MY REVIEW

I won't waste but a few moments of your time with this one. College Road Trip probably is one of the year's worst films, and is definitely one of the years worst comedies. Every human being that acted in this film was incredibly over the top and almost made my ears bleed with their obnoxious bellowing of their lines. Raven Symone proved that she in fact cannot act, and her rediculously large breasts were all over the place. The only reason I mention that was because this is a childrens movie, and her character was always running or jumping around and her chest was just all over the screen, it was a bit innapropriate actually. Really though, I would suggest passing on this film if you want to have a truly good time. The movie was minorly saved by a boy and his pig...and I will leave you with that cliffhanger that will NOT be continued.

CURRENT MIKEY @ THE MOVIES AWARD NOMINATIONS:

• Worst Comedic Film of the Year

To view this film's theatrical trailer, click this link: College Road Trip

*This is the 82nd new film I've seen and reviewed this year.

*This film is now on DVD.

Tropic Thunder

Tropic Thunder

Rated R

Running time: 1 hr 47 mins

Cast:

Ben Stiller
Robert Downey Jr.
Jack Black

Critical consensus:

***1/2 out of *****

Matt's Take:

A-

Mikey @ The Movies Official Rating:

**** out of *****

The premise:

Through a series of freak occurrences, a group of actors shooting a big-budget war movie are forced to become the soldiers they are portraying.

MY REVIEW

Tropic Thunder may very well be one of the years top comedies. To me, that isn't saying a whole lot though, because there haven't been a whole slew of great comedic films this year...in my opinion. This is a rated R film, but mainly for language and violence. What I appreciated was the fact there was a bare minimum of raunchy sexy jokes, and male and female nudity. The film was incredibly vulgar, yes, but that was very standable in my eyes.

The story is a good as it can be for a borderline spoof film. A group of cliched actors are thrown into a jungle in Southeast Asia to get a more realistic war film. A war film based off a book by a supposed war time hero, who now only has hooks for hands. It's actually quite a simple and fun story for a comedy these days. I mentioned spoof above. I feel this movie is spoofing the entertainment business. My good buddy Andy said it was like they were not only spoofing war films (like Platoon, Saving Private Ryan), but actors themselves, and I couldn't agree more. These characters are so over the top that they have to be making fun of actors.

The film was suprisingly "well-written" for a comedy. I use that loosely because it isn't a brilliant screenplay or one that will garner several award nominations, but it was funny! The movie is littered with hillarious one liners, and great dialogue for some characters. I never felt the humor was too ridiculous, and it never really re-used any of the same jokes as we see so often in comedies. To say the humor was "smart" may be a stretch, but I think the writing was just clever enough to not be in the same league as films like Step Brothers.

Tropic Thunder may also be the best acted comedy of this 2008 year to date. Leading the pack is Ben Stiller (There's Something About Mary, Meet the Parents), playing his normal over the top comedy character, but a little toned down. The first half he's actually quite "normal" for Ben Stiller. He does a great job at portraying a clueless actor. The second half, more towards the end he tends to get a little too much to handle. Maybe that was the way his character was written though, not really his fault. Oh wait...it is...Ben Stiller co-wrote the film. Next in line is Jack Black. Those who know me well enough, know that I hate Jack Black in films like this, because I feel he tries way to hard to steal the show. Now his character is very loud and animated, but actually I thought he was funny. He actually has "reason" to be why he is, due to his characters tiny drug problem. After a while, he got on my nerves, but he wasn't in the film enough for me to hate him for long periods of time.

The two stars of the film, are the ones who were in "disguises". First I want to mention the great Oscar nominated actor, Robert Downey Jr (Charlie Bartlett, Iron Man). This guy once again steals the show. He immerses himself in this character, a black man, so well you are almost convinced he isn't Robert Downey Jr. He truly delivers an unforgettable performance here, and he is now three for three this year. He's quickly rising as one of my favorite actors. Next we have Oscar nominated actor, Tom Cruise (Magnolia, Jerry Maguire). I had no idea the man was in the film before I walked into the theater. He is disguised in a fat suit and a bald cap, but you can tell it's him. Cruise may be crazy on the outside, but when he acts, he is usually amazing and Tropic Thunder was no exception. He was probably the most vulgar of the characters, but he was so great, and so funny he may get a supporting actor nod from me. I have to mention Matthew McConaughey (Fool's Gold, We Are Marshall) as well. Another suprise turn, and he was pretty good himself.

I wasn't aware that Ben Stiller directed this film until the credits rolled. I'm not going to lie, I thought he did quite a stand up job with this movie. There was nothing overly cheesy about anything he did with the craft of the film. Some pretty well shot explosions, some good camera work, etc. He handled his own screenplay well too. Overall, Tropic Thunder was a very nice suprise in a year of crap comedies. I'd definitely recommend this one to anyone.

CURRENT MIKEY @ THE MOVIES AWARD NOMINATIONS:

• Best Comedic Motion Picture


• Best Actor in a Supporting Role (Robert Downey Jr.)


• Best Character


• Best Character


• Best Cameo or Limited Role


• Best Line or Line Delivery


• Best Overall Scene

To view this films theatrical trailer, click this link: Tropic Thunder

*This is the 81st new film I've seen and reviewed this year.

SHORT REVIEW: Diary of the Dead

George A. Romero's
Diary of the Dead

Rated R

Running time: 1 hr 35 mins

Cast:

Michelle Morgan
Joshua Close

Shawn Roberts

Amy Ciupak Lalonde
Scott Wentworth

Critical consensus:

*** out of *****

Matt's Take:

Has Not Viewed

Mikey @ The Movies Official Rating:

**1/2 out of *****

The premise:

A group of young film students run into real-life zombies while filming a horror movie of their own.

MY REVIEW

Honestly, how much can possibly be done with the Zombie storyline? You have to admit, it is getting a tad tiresome. All these movies feature the same thing: a group of people are on the run from thousands of zombies with no hope for survival. We usually never know why these zombies are zombies; sometimes we are given a vague explanation. This movie is no exception, except it has one tiny difference that seperates it from the rest: it's all done on hand held camera.

The shaky, hand held camera filmaking technique has now been done enough, that it no longer has any originality. We saw it first in Blair Witch Project and now as recently as this year in Cloverfield. It's different and original for a zombie movie however, just not anything special. It does add some grittiness and some realism to the film I will have to admit. The zombie effects are done rather well, thanks due in part to George A. Romero's expertise in this film genre.

The zombie genre is Romero's baby, he knows what he's doing. Which is another reason why this movie is better than most. Romero is responsible for the original Zombie film, Night of the Living Dead and also films like the original Dawn of the Dead. Usually his movies are more than just about zombies, there are always some form of satire mocking our way of life or politics. I get the message in this film: we are obsessed with technology and we love violence. The two sometimes go hand in hand. That may not be the actual message Romero was trying to deliver, but that's what I felt from the movie. His direction doesn't really falter here, he knows just how to make an effective, scary zombie film.

The performances are what killed me here. I know you are not supposed to expect fantastic performances in a film like this, but my goodness. Mainly it was two actors: Michelle Morgan and Scott Wentworth. They are both so overly dramatic it kills me! You really have to see it to understand what I mean, but they both are so over the top it's ridiculous. Everyone else is pretty standard and expendable.

Diary of the Dead is only a decent zombie movie in my eyes. I'm not a huge fan of the genre so don't take my full word for it, this is just my opinion on a type of film I've grown tired of.

CURRENT MIKEY @ THE MOVIES AWARD NOMINATIONS:

• None

To view this film's theatrical trailer, click this link: Diary of the Dead

*This is the 80th new film I've seen and reviewed this year.

*This film is now on DVD.

SHORT REVIEW: The Other Boleyn Girl

The Other Boleyn Girl

Rated PG-13

Running time: 1 hr 55 mins

Cast:

Natalie Portman
Scarlett Johansson
Eric Bana

Critical consensus:

**1/2 out of *****

Matt's Take:

Has Not Viewed

Mikey @ The Movies Official Rating:

**1/2 out of *****

The premise:

Two sisters contend for the affection of King Henry VIII.

MY REVIEW

This is a movie I was not expecting to be what it was. I have no clue why I was expecting some sort of historically altered fairy tale full of happiness. I will be the first to admit, I hate history, and I know nothing about the Kings of England and all that happened so far on the side of the world. I do know for a fact that this film is not historically accurate (I read message boards); the characters are real, some events are true, but a lot of it was exaggerated. Essentially it's a tad bit like the 1997 Oscar winning version of Titanic. So with that in mind, I still am unsure about this film and it's story.

There is a LOT that happens in this film, so much story is packed in, in so little time. Sometimes thats OK, but here none of it flows well and it all seems disconnected. I never felt "in" to the movie so to speak. This film is a PG-13 borderline NC-17 version of soap opera. The subject material we are displayed is intense and very risque. Two sisters both vying the affection of the apparent sex fiend King Henry, both end up being his mistress. One ends up being his Queen and the woman who mothers the future Queen Elizabeth. This story is almost sadistic, its so relentless and almost doesn't pull out all the stops. There is a moment where one of the sisters is so scared for her life because she miscarried Henry's baby, that she nearly sleeps with her own brother (who apparently in real life was gay man, yet they didn't mention it in the film). This even leads to some pretty crazy and tragic endings, but my goodness, this movie was at times very shocking. I actually almost gasped a couple times.

The performances were all quite good. Nothing spectacular or memorable, but very good. The best being from Oscar nominee Natalie Portman (Closer). Her character is so sinister, but so intelligent at the same time and Portman really pulls it off. You never really know if you are rooting for her or completely against her. She's a total witch, then you feel bad for her. Portman does an excellent job at displaying those drastic character changes. Golden Globe nominee Scarlett Johansson (Lost in Translation, Match Point) kind of had the same character fluctuations, and also was good. She too plays this character that you don't really know if you hate or love. Her performance was more subdued and not as flashy as Portmans but that's OK, because you need the kind of balance in a film. Eric Bana (The Hulk, Black Hawk Down)was totally miscast here. He still doesn't have that charm or star quality. Even after being in The Hulk, people still don't really know who he is so I don't know how he was supposed to pull of King Henry! His performance was just OK for me.

The film is quite beautiful to look at I thought. It has wonderful set pieces and great costuming. The musical scoring is haunting and effective. Awesome cinematography, the works.

To quote Rotten Tomatoes, this film does in fact have some extravagent and exciting moments. This is not an awful film. It's just tends to be a bit too much and tad shocking. We have these truly awful characters, and they continually drop Jesus' name and praise God's name, claim they are devout Catholics. They are adament about consumating their marriages to make it official. Yet they are adulturous and cheat on their spouses; have un-married sex; have children out of wed-lock, the list goes on. King Henry LEAVES the Catholic church completely, all for a girl. I don't know how accurate that is to real life, but in the film I thought it was almost repulsive.

Eh, I guess I can recommend the film for movie goers who are not faint at heart and enjoy a juicy 16th century soap opera. Basically not a film most guys would care for. You girls may eat it up though. For me, it was overall pretty average. Some great filmwork, solid performances, but a story that is just so confusing and poorly strung together. A story that is shocking. Shocking isn't always a good thing my friends.

CURRENT MIKEY @ THE MOVIES AWARD NOMINATIONS:

• 
  
  None

To view this film's theatrical trailer, click this link: The Other Boleyn Girl

*This is the 79th new film I've seen and reviewed this year.

*This film is now on DVD.

STRAIGHT-TO-DVD SPOTLIGHT: The Boston Strangler: The Untold Story

The Boston Strangler: The Untold Story

Rated R
Running Time: 1 hr 31 mins
DVD Release Date: July 22nd

Cast:

David Faustino
Andrew Divoff
Kostas Sommer

MY REVIEW

No need going into too much detail about this wonderfuly boring film. The thing is, I felt this movie was trying to be a straight-to-DVD version of the incredible film, Zodiac. It totally swung and missed. This is the supposed "untold story" about Albert DeSalvo; the man who was apparently coerced into telling the authorities he was the Boston Strangler. The thing that seperates this from Zodiac is we get no insight into the actual Boston Strangler. We never meet any potential suspects other than the fake DeSalvo. We get glimpses of the investigation led by the obsessed detective played by Andrew Divoff (who some may know from TV's Lost). But his character never seems to be on any kind of right track. DeSalvo is so one dimensional. We don't give a crud about this guy in the least. We don't know anything about his past life that would create this monster inside him. He's a bad person, and dersevedly was in prison, but I just have to wonder how authorities believed his story. Maybe thats the other part of the untold story, that we don't get to see ever. In the end, I had almost no new knowledge of the Boston Strangler, I was bored to tears. This isn't an awful film...just not a good one.

Mikey @ The Movies Official Rating: *1/2 out of *****

*This is the 78th new film I've seen and reviewed this year.

*This film is now on DVD.

*Straight-to-DVD released films do not qualify for my awards.

SHORT REVIEW: Meet Bill

Meet Bill

Rated R

Running time: 1 hr 37 mins

Cast:

Aaron Eckhart
Elizabeth Banks
Logan Lerman
Jessica Alba

Critical consensus:

*1/2 out of *****

Matt's Take:

B-

Mikey @ The Movies Official Rating:

**1/2 out of *****

The premise:

A guy fed up with his job and married to a cheating wife reluctantly mentors a rebellious teen.

MY REVIEW

Meet Bill starts off as an iteresting drama about a man spiraling out of control. Then a tad more than halfway through and by the end of it all, I just lost interest. I couldn't keep any focus on the story or the characters. The storyline is good about a man who is pushed around by his step-father boss, his wife is cheating on him, hes becoming even more insecure, and wants to venture away from his bank job.

I just feel the character of Bill played well by Aaron Eckhart (The Dark Knight), becomes a little too obsessive and crazy. Or maybe it was Elizabeth Banks (Meet Dave) character that threw me. She cheats on her husband and has no remorse whatsoever, yet by the end she wants to get back with him. I think it was all to much for me. It was to hard to concentrate on the story after a while. I thought Logan Lerman (3:10 to Yuma, The Number 23) was excellent as Bill's mentoree (spelling?) however.

Not much of a film I'm going to remember even as soon as two days from now, and it's not much a of a movie I could recommend to anyone. It's "good" persay, just nothing all that special. I would just skip it. I don't feel like writing anymore on it at this moment in time.

CURRENT MIKEY @ THE MOVIES AWARDS NOMINATIONS:

• Best Performance by a Young Actor or Actress (Logan Lerman)

To view this films theatrical trailer, click this link: Meet Bill

*This is the 77th new film I've seen and reviewed this year.

*This film is now on DVD.

The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor

The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor

Rated PG-13

Running time: 1 hr 52 mins

Cast:

Brendan Fraser
Maria Bello
John Hannah
Luke Ford
Michelle Yeoh
Jet Li

Critical consensus:

*1/2 out of *****

Matt's Take:

B

Mikey @ The Movies Official Rating:

***1/2 out of *****

The premise:

In the Far East, trouble-seeking father-and-son duo Rick and Alex O'Connell unearth the mummy of the first Emperor of Qin -- a shape-shifting entity who was cursed by a woman centuries ago.

MY REVIEW

I am honestly a bit shocked by the extremely low critical rating at Rotten Tomatoes; it has a 9% fresh rating (only 11 positive reviews out of 118 so far). Have we really come to this? Have we resorted to over analyzing and critisizing storylines of fantasy-adventure films? Look, we are no longer in the days of new and original adventure films like Indiana Jones that get nominated for Oscars. These movies are past that form of prime, and now are soley here in our movie world to entertain. Mummy 3 doesn't really fail in that regard, in my opinion.

People say this movie lacks excitement, and just simply doesn't entertain them. Some still argue these types of movies are unbelievable. Thats great for those people, maybe we need more realistic action movies like The Matrix and Wanted to quench those fans thirst for "real" and "true to life" action. That will get their blood pumping right? For me though, a movie like The Mummy 3 will suffice. I found the movie to be quite entertaining. There weren't to many dull moments that I can remember, there was a ton of action scenes. Personally I freaking loved the fact that there were weird Yetti creatures that kicked butt. Unbelievable? OBVIOUSLY! Different and fun? YEP! Heaven forbid a fantasy-adventure film has...fantasy! *cue suprised gasp here* Were people expecting boring creatures? Did you want a trained lion fighting and killing people? Yawn!

The CGI effects weren't brilliant or state of the art by any means. They were on par with a lot of current adventure film effects though. There were many really awesome shots (the skeleton army, the avalanche) and some kind of over the top cheesy effects (Jet Li's creature transformations were a bit over the top and silly). Which I didn't like the fact that Jet Li's character was a shapeshifter. Not as an unbelieable thing, just a bit to much. So the effects were a tad hit and miss, but I think more on the hit side.

The performances were all pretty standard, but no one was considerably bad, nor considerably amazing! Again, no one is going for Oscar gold here. Brendan Fraser (The Mummy, Crash) has proven he has the acting chops to do dramatic performances, namely in Crash. Yet he keeps coming back to this genre. Earlier in the year he did Journey to the Center of the Earth, esentially playing the same type of role. Honestly I think this is his niche in the movie world, it's kind of what he does best. He is a good actor, and he was good here, even with the almost too many smug one liners. At least he is capable of doing drama in cast Hollywood runs out of adventure film ideas.

My main issue with this movie is Oscar nominee snub Maria Bello (A History of Violence). She's actually quite a good actress, and his turned in a few performances that people are still shocked that she didn't receive any Oscar noms for. I thought she was great in A History of Violence. She's proven, but not for this movie. She's playing a character made popular by Oscar winner Rachel Weisz (The Constant Gardner). Weisz has been in numerous films since the original Mummy film including it's sequel, but when it comes down to it, whatever she's in, people recognize her from these films. So to throw in another actress to play her role is dumb. Weisz made this character fun and enjoyable, Bello plays here almost kind of dull, even when she's kicking butt. Again, great actress, just not for this movie.

The rest of the cast was good. Jet Li doesn't have a whole lot of speaking lines, and a good portion of his role is taken up by CGI effects, but when he's on screen, he does command the screen. Again, impressing us with his hand to hand fighting skills. Which by the way, was a fresh look for these movies, and was actually quite exciting. Luke Ford was probably the most bland of all the performances (even moreso than Bello's). He doesn't have that star quality face to him, and he just looks silly doing action stunts (mainly because he resembles Chris O'Donnel WAY to much). Quick question...didn't this character have a british accent in the second Mummy film? Pretty sure he did, but I could be wrong. Maybe he didn't have the ability to pull the accent off even though he IS from Australia...so...yeah. Kind weird.

I'm a sucker for movies in the 30's-40's time era, especially when everything is done right. When the story is outside tombs, I thought the director got the look and feel of the era right. Wonderful costuming and great set designs I thought. At any rate, Mummy 3 isn't as impressive as the original film, and maybe not so much with the second film, but it still entertains on its own merit. I never got bored, I never looked away in frustration. I was glued to the screen and was into the movie the whole time. For me personally, it simply did what it was supposed to do: entertain. What more do you want from a film like this?


CURRENT MIKEY @ THE MOVIES AWARDS NOMINATIONS:

• Best Art Direction & Set Design


• Best Costumes & Makeup

To view this films theatrical trailer, click this link: The Mummy 3

*This is the 76th new film I've seen and reviewed this year.