SHORT REVIEW: The Other Boleyn Girl

The Other Boleyn Girl

Rated PG-13

Running time: 1 hr 55 mins

Cast:

Natalie Portman
Scarlett Johansson
Eric Bana

Critical consensus:

**1/2 out of *****

Matt's Take:

Has Not Viewed

Mikey @ The Movies Official Rating:

**1/2 out of *****

The premise:

Two sisters contend for the affection of King Henry VIII.

MY REVIEW

This is a movie I was not expecting to be what it was. I have no clue why I was expecting some sort of historically altered fairy tale full of happiness. I will be the first to admit, I hate history, and I know nothing about the Kings of England and all that happened so far on the side of the world. I do know for a fact that this film is not historically accurate (I read message boards); the characters are real, some events are true, but a lot of it was exaggerated. Essentially it's a tad bit like the 1997 Oscar winning version of Titanic. So with that in mind, I still am unsure about this film and it's story.

There is a LOT that happens in this film, so much story is packed in, in so little time. Sometimes thats OK, but here none of it flows well and it all seems disconnected. I never felt "in" to the movie so to speak. This film is a PG-13 borderline NC-17 version of soap opera. The subject material we are displayed is intense and very risque. Two sisters both vying the affection of the apparent sex fiend King Henry, both end up being his mistress. One ends up being his Queen and the woman who mothers the future Queen Elizabeth. This story is almost sadistic, its so relentless and almost doesn't pull out all the stops. There is a moment where one of the sisters is so scared for her life because she miscarried Henry's baby, that she nearly sleeps with her own brother (who apparently in real life was gay man, yet they didn't mention it in the film). This even leads to some pretty crazy and tragic endings, but my goodness, this movie was at times very shocking. I actually almost gasped a couple times.

The performances were all quite good. Nothing spectacular or memorable, but very good. The best being from Oscar nominee Natalie Portman (Closer). Her character is so sinister, but so intelligent at the same time and Portman really pulls it off. You never really know if you are rooting for her or completely against her. She's a total witch, then you feel bad for her. Portman does an excellent job at displaying those drastic character changes. Golden Globe nominee Scarlett Johansson (Lost in Translation, Match Point) kind of had the same character fluctuations, and also was good. She too plays this character that you don't really know if you hate or love. Her performance was more subdued and not as flashy as Portmans but that's OK, because you need the kind of balance in a film. Eric Bana (The Hulk, Black Hawk Down)was totally miscast here. He still doesn't have that charm or star quality. Even after being in The Hulk, people still don't really know who he is so I don't know how he was supposed to pull of King Henry! His performance was just OK for me.

The film is quite beautiful to look at I thought. It has wonderful set pieces and great costuming. The musical scoring is haunting and effective. Awesome cinematography, the works.

To quote Rotten Tomatoes, this film does in fact have some extravagent and exciting moments. This is not an awful film. It's just tends to be a bit too much and tad shocking. We have these truly awful characters, and they continually drop Jesus' name and praise God's name, claim they are devout Catholics. They are adament about consumating their marriages to make it official. Yet they are adulturous and cheat on their spouses; have un-married sex; have children out of wed-lock, the list goes on. King Henry LEAVES the Catholic church completely, all for a girl. I don't know how accurate that is to real life, but in the film I thought it was almost repulsive.

Eh, I guess I can recommend the film for movie goers who are not faint at heart and enjoy a juicy 16th century soap opera. Basically not a film most guys would care for. You girls may eat it up though. For me, it was overall pretty average. Some great filmwork, solid performances, but a story that is just so confusing and poorly strung together. A story that is shocking. Shocking isn't always a good thing my friends.

CURRENT MIKEY @ THE MOVIES AWARD NOMINATIONS:

• 
  
  None

To view this film's theatrical trailer, click this link: The Other Boleyn Girl

*This is the 79th new film I've seen and reviewed this year.

*This film is now on DVD.

STRAIGHT-TO-DVD SPOTLIGHT: The Boston Strangler: The Untold Story

The Boston Strangler: The Untold Story

Rated R
Running Time: 1 hr 31 mins
DVD Release Date: July 22nd

Cast:

David Faustino
Andrew Divoff
Kostas Sommer

MY REVIEW

No need going into too much detail about this wonderfuly boring film. The thing is, I felt this movie was trying to be a straight-to-DVD version of the incredible film, Zodiac. It totally swung and missed. This is the supposed "untold story" about Albert DeSalvo; the man who was apparently coerced into telling the authorities he was the Boston Strangler. The thing that seperates this from Zodiac is we get no insight into the actual Boston Strangler. We never meet any potential suspects other than the fake DeSalvo. We get glimpses of the investigation led by the obsessed detective played by Andrew Divoff (who some may know from TV's Lost). But his character never seems to be on any kind of right track. DeSalvo is so one dimensional. We don't give a crud about this guy in the least. We don't know anything about his past life that would create this monster inside him. He's a bad person, and dersevedly was in prison, but I just have to wonder how authorities believed his story. Maybe thats the other part of the untold story, that we don't get to see ever. In the end, I had almost no new knowledge of the Boston Strangler, I was bored to tears. This isn't an awful film...just not a good one.

Mikey @ The Movies Official Rating: *1/2 out of *****

*This is the 78th new film I've seen and reviewed this year.

*This film is now on DVD.

*Straight-to-DVD released films do not qualify for my awards.

SHORT REVIEW: Meet Bill

Meet Bill

Rated R

Running time: 1 hr 37 mins

Cast:

Aaron Eckhart
Elizabeth Banks
Logan Lerman
Jessica Alba

Critical consensus:

*1/2 out of *****

Matt's Take:

B-

Mikey @ The Movies Official Rating:

**1/2 out of *****

The premise:

A guy fed up with his job and married to a cheating wife reluctantly mentors a rebellious teen.

MY REVIEW

Meet Bill starts off as an iteresting drama about a man spiraling out of control. Then a tad more than halfway through and by the end of it all, I just lost interest. I couldn't keep any focus on the story or the characters. The storyline is good about a man who is pushed around by his step-father boss, his wife is cheating on him, hes becoming even more insecure, and wants to venture away from his bank job.

I just feel the character of Bill played well by Aaron Eckhart (The Dark Knight), becomes a little too obsessive and crazy. Or maybe it was Elizabeth Banks (Meet Dave) character that threw me. She cheats on her husband and has no remorse whatsoever, yet by the end she wants to get back with him. I think it was all to much for me. It was to hard to concentrate on the story after a while. I thought Logan Lerman (3:10 to Yuma, The Number 23) was excellent as Bill's mentoree (spelling?) however.

Not much of a film I'm going to remember even as soon as two days from now, and it's not much a of a movie I could recommend to anyone. It's "good" persay, just nothing all that special. I would just skip it. I don't feel like writing anymore on it at this moment in time.

CURRENT MIKEY @ THE MOVIES AWARDS NOMINATIONS:

• Best Performance by a Young Actor or Actress (Logan Lerman)

To view this films theatrical trailer, click this link: Meet Bill

*This is the 77th new film I've seen and reviewed this year.

*This film is now on DVD.

The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor

The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor

Rated PG-13

Running time: 1 hr 52 mins

Cast:

Brendan Fraser
Maria Bello
John Hannah
Luke Ford
Michelle Yeoh
Jet Li

Critical consensus:

*1/2 out of *****

Matt's Take:

B

Mikey @ The Movies Official Rating:

***1/2 out of *****

The premise:

In the Far East, trouble-seeking father-and-son duo Rick and Alex O'Connell unearth the mummy of the first Emperor of Qin -- a shape-shifting entity who was cursed by a woman centuries ago.

MY REVIEW

I am honestly a bit shocked by the extremely low critical rating at Rotten Tomatoes; it has a 9% fresh rating (only 11 positive reviews out of 118 so far). Have we really come to this? Have we resorted to over analyzing and critisizing storylines of fantasy-adventure films? Look, we are no longer in the days of new and original adventure films like Indiana Jones that get nominated for Oscars. These movies are past that form of prime, and now are soley here in our movie world to entertain. Mummy 3 doesn't really fail in that regard, in my opinion.

People say this movie lacks excitement, and just simply doesn't entertain them. Some still argue these types of movies are unbelievable. Thats great for those people, maybe we need more realistic action movies like The Matrix and Wanted to quench those fans thirst for "real" and "true to life" action. That will get their blood pumping right? For me though, a movie like The Mummy 3 will suffice. I found the movie to be quite entertaining. There weren't to many dull moments that I can remember, there was a ton of action scenes. Personally I freaking loved the fact that there were weird Yetti creatures that kicked butt. Unbelievable? OBVIOUSLY! Different and fun? YEP! Heaven forbid a fantasy-adventure film has...fantasy! *cue suprised gasp here* Were people expecting boring creatures? Did you want a trained lion fighting and killing people? Yawn!

The CGI effects weren't brilliant or state of the art by any means. They were on par with a lot of current adventure film effects though. There were many really awesome shots (the skeleton army, the avalanche) and some kind of over the top cheesy effects (Jet Li's creature transformations were a bit over the top and silly). Which I didn't like the fact that Jet Li's character was a shapeshifter. Not as an unbelieable thing, just a bit to much. So the effects were a tad hit and miss, but I think more on the hit side.

The performances were all pretty standard, but no one was considerably bad, nor considerably amazing! Again, no one is going for Oscar gold here. Brendan Fraser (The Mummy, Crash) has proven he has the acting chops to do dramatic performances, namely in Crash. Yet he keeps coming back to this genre. Earlier in the year he did Journey to the Center of the Earth, esentially playing the same type of role. Honestly I think this is his niche in the movie world, it's kind of what he does best. He is a good actor, and he was good here, even with the almost too many smug one liners. At least he is capable of doing drama in cast Hollywood runs out of adventure film ideas.

My main issue with this movie is Oscar nominee snub Maria Bello (A History of Violence). She's actually quite a good actress, and his turned in a few performances that people are still shocked that she didn't receive any Oscar noms for. I thought she was great in A History of Violence. She's proven, but not for this movie. She's playing a character made popular by Oscar winner Rachel Weisz (The Constant Gardner). Weisz has been in numerous films since the original Mummy film including it's sequel, but when it comes down to it, whatever she's in, people recognize her from these films. So to throw in another actress to play her role is dumb. Weisz made this character fun and enjoyable, Bello plays here almost kind of dull, even when she's kicking butt. Again, great actress, just not for this movie.

The rest of the cast was good. Jet Li doesn't have a whole lot of speaking lines, and a good portion of his role is taken up by CGI effects, but when he's on screen, he does command the screen. Again, impressing us with his hand to hand fighting skills. Which by the way, was a fresh look for these movies, and was actually quite exciting. Luke Ford was probably the most bland of all the performances (even moreso than Bello's). He doesn't have that star quality face to him, and he just looks silly doing action stunts (mainly because he resembles Chris O'Donnel WAY to much). Quick question...didn't this character have a british accent in the second Mummy film? Pretty sure he did, but I could be wrong. Maybe he didn't have the ability to pull the accent off even though he IS from Australia...so...yeah. Kind weird.

I'm a sucker for movies in the 30's-40's time era, especially when everything is done right. When the story is outside tombs, I thought the director got the look and feel of the era right. Wonderful costuming and great set designs I thought. At any rate, Mummy 3 isn't as impressive as the original film, and maybe not so much with the second film, but it still entertains on its own merit. I never got bored, I never looked away in frustration. I was glued to the screen and was into the movie the whole time. For me personally, it simply did what it was supposed to do: entertain. What more do you want from a film like this?


CURRENT MIKEY @ THE MOVIES AWARDS NOMINATIONS:

• Best Art Direction & Set Design


• Best Costumes & Makeup

To view this films theatrical trailer, click this link: The Mummy 3

*This is the 76th new film I've seen and reviewed this year.

The Midnight Meat Train

The Midnight Meat Train

Rated R

Running Time: 1 hr 40 mins

Cast:

Bradley Cooper
Leslie Bibb
Brooke Shields
Vinnie Jones

Critical consensus:

Not Enough Info

Matt's Take:

D-

Mikey @ The Movies Official Rating:

0 out of *****

The premise:

A New York photographer hunts down a serial killer. Based on Clive Barker's short story "Midnight Meat Train"

MY REVIEW

I have the fortunate luck to live in one of the very few cities that is actually showing this film in one of it's "$1" theaters. The movie is getting an extreme limited release, only being showcased in a tad over 100 theaters across our great country. The movie at one point was scrapped from even being released in theaters, then we were told it would get at least 1000, now it's been reduced to dollar cinema theaters...and for good reason.

Midnight Meat Train is already a catchy, unique little title don't you think? That title could suggest a number of things, but sadly it's almost quite litteral. Minus the fact that this sadistic train of torture actually departs after 2 A.M. every day not midnight; but that's its most minor plot flaw. Now listen, I didn't go into this expecting some crazy awesome plot, this is a gory horror movie afterall. I was expecting at least a fun, cheesy horror movie plot that is readily open for some good laughs (not in a good way) with some friends. Yet this movie and its plot were so bland and retarded it didn't even warrant a chuckle from me.

The plot seems simple enough at first: an insane and very large man stalks victims on a subway train and slaughters them in some grotesque ways. His main weapon of choice is a metal mallet. He bashes people upside the head, breaking their necks instantsly, or making their eyes pop out of their skulls in slow motion. The list can go on, believe me. I won't go into any more detail about the story, only that the final 10 minutes or so, in an apparent attempt at a twist goes way off course into the realm of ridiculousness. It was so, SO terrible. Yuck!

The performances are also cheesy, but not entirely awful. Bradley Cooper (TV's Alias) is somewhat standable at first, but then his character goes all obsessive and crazy by the end. His character just didn't seem to have sound reason built into his brain. He follows this crazy killer with his camera, just 6 or 7 feet behind...isn't that a little too risky? Even for a horror movie? He lost me in his performance after he becomes obsessed with snapping pictures of this guy, but it wasn't Bradleys fault. His character was written this way: a freaking retard! Sorry to offend any "slow" people out there, but this character was an idiot. Leslie Bibb (Iron Man, Trick R' Treat), who kept reminding me a lot of Maggie Grace from the first 2 seasons of Lost, also was standable the first half of the movie. Then in the second half, her character goes so far OUT of character, she just loses me. It was kind of frustrating watching these characters fall victim to the cliched horror movie persona. Whatever.

Their were some neat camera shots, especially the blury kind of hazy shots scattered about in the first half. Then it got to be too much with the weird weaving in and out of trains at a fast pace; there were even some Matrix-y type shots that got annoying. There were a few shots that looked very artsy and kind of impressive but didn't do much for me, cause the setting was just so awful. They would have worked better in a more suitable thriller. I was expecting this movie to suck, so I can at least say this movie was NOT dissapointing!

CURRENT MIKEY @ THE MOVIES AWARDS NOMINATIONS:

• Worst Dramatic Film of the Year

To view this films theatrical trailer, click this link: Midnight Meat Train

*This is the 75th new film I've seen and reviewed this year.

*This is a limited release film.