Rated R
(Graphic violence and images, brief language and nudity)
1 hour 36 minutes
Storyline:
Starring:
F
My Grade:
D+
As of this review, this film is sitting at a 7% fresh rating on rotten tomatoes, making it one of the worst reviewed movies of the year by far. I honestly don't believe that Whiteout is worthy of a 7% rating...I'd say it's in the 45% realm. Meaning it's not an AWFUL movie like the mainstream critics suggest it's just not a good movie...whatsoever. It has virtually no redeeming qualities.
Whiteout suffers from extremely poor writing. For a crime mystery film, it is not very mysterious. It is not at all suspenseful and has not one moment of real tension. It is not scary in the least. There is never a point in the film where you feel any real danger is looming for our main character. The plot device of the murdered man in Antarctica sounds like it could be interesting...but it was major dullsville! This ranks up there with The Black Dahlia as being one of the biggest snoozefest crime mysteries in recent memory. I mean there is just no excitement. Not to mention the fact that this particular mystery is so bland and I could care a less. When the bad guy was revealed...it was like...yeah...OK...so what? Then another baddie was revealed and it was just so nonchalant and that whole thing just seemed to end abruptly. It was badly pieced together, and the whole screenplay was a sloppy piss poor mess. I mean the flasback scenes were sore corny and badly done. The dialog was lame for the most part. I don't know...they swung and missed bad on the writing aspect.
The production value itself was pretty decent. You know...the movie looked pretty cool, not outstanding, but it was probably the best quality of the film. Although there were parts where the special effects snow was so obviously CGI it was almost laughable. The performances were just OK and I'm giving some leeway there too. Kate Beckinsale (Snow Angels, Nothing But the Truth) is usually pretty good, she has an incredible year in 2008. But here...she is just about average. I suspect that wasn't here fault though. I think she did the very best she could with the material she was given. The other actors were all very standard. There were some weak scenes performance wise, and there were never great scenes. But this isn't the type of movie that's about performances, it's mainly about story and execution and it failed pretty bad in that sense.
Listen, do I honestly think that this will be THE worst movie of 2009? No, not even bottom 5 probably. Like I said it's not an atrocious mess, but it's nothing even remotely good either. It teeters right in between and I don't suggest anyone I know waste money on this movie. I have a weird feeling about this movie...I can't honestly say it's terrible. Just don't see it....and I know that makes no sense.
Whiteout suffers from extremely poor writing. For a crime mystery film, it is not very mysterious. It is not at all suspenseful and has not one moment of real tension. It is not scary in the least. There is never a point in the film where you feel any real danger is looming for our main character. The plot device of the murdered man in Antarctica sounds like it could be interesting...but it was major dullsville! This ranks up there with The Black Dahlia as being one of the biggest snoozefest crime mysteries in recent memory. I mean there is just no excitement. Not to mention the fact that this particular mystery is so bland and I could care a less. When the bad guy was revealed...it was like...yeah...OK...so what? Then another baddie was revealed and it was just so nonchalant and that whole thing just seemed to end abruptly. It was badly pieced together, and the whole screenplay was a sloppy piss poor mess. I mean the flasback scenes were sore corny and badly done. The dialog was lame for the most part. I don't know...they swung and missed bad on the writing aspect.
The production value itself was pretty decent. You know...the movie looked pretty cool, not outstanding, but it was probably the best quality of the film. Although there were parts where the special effects snow was so obviously CGI it was almost laughable. The performances were just OK and I'm giving some leeway there too. Kate Beckinsale (Snow Angels, Nothing But the Truth) is usually pretty good, she has an incredible year in 2008. But here...she is just about average. I suspect that wasn't here fault though. I think she did the very best she could with the material she was given. The other actors were all very standard. There were some weak scenes performance wise, and there were never great scenes. But this isn't the type of movie that's about performances, it's mainly about story and execution and it failed pretty bad in that sense.Listen, do I honestly think that this will be THE worst movie of 2009? No, not even bottom 5 probably. Like I said it's not an atrocious mess, but it's nothing even remotely good either. It teeters right in between and I don't suggest anyone I know waste money on this movie. I have a weird feeling about this movie...I can't honestly say it's terrible. Just don't see it....and I know that makes no sense.
Wow, they built this one up to be soooooo scary. Glad you saw it and reviewed it for us. Now I know, NOT to see it. Thanks Mikey.
ReplyDeleteYou're priceless. I think you're always spot-on with reviews. I had this one on my list to see, but with sooooo many good movies coming out this month and next, I decided to lower this one to a rental in four months or so. Glad I did.
ReplyDeleteYeah Jules, I guess I can suggest renting it one day for like...a buck at Redbox...couldn't really hurt ya, it's just a very disappointing movie!
ReplyDeleteThanks Autumn...I try to keep my reviews as real as possible. I am not a snobby film critic. I go to a movie to enjoy it...now matter how strange or far fetched it is. Movies are meant to entertain, so my reviews are generally based off that. Yeah, I would say at least rent it...to gather your own opinion.